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Feeling Deflated

shangirl
August 19, 2015 09:11PM

Registered: 3 years ago
Posts: 136

After reading so much, feeling a bit deflated here on my idea of moving to the USVI. I never did feel like the islands were an escape from all negativity ie: bad schools, crime, traffic, bad attitudes, etc. but I did feel like it could be a wonderful adventure, living in a new place, a tropical island.

Yes, I would still work, and still deal with all kinds of life hiccups, that was expected. But I thought maybe the juice would be worth the squeeze, as one poster said here.

What I didn't expect was so much dissatisfaction and discouragement. Of course, if the schools are bad, that should be said ( I was planning on private anyway) and if crime is bad, that should be noted ( I have traveled to many islands and have felt I needed to be careful, in St. Kitts especially, so that was not a surprise) but it seems like the little comments added in, or the way it is said, makes all the difference.

I live in a place (Florida) where many like to visit AND move to. Florida has a lot of positives and many negatives as well. I could say...

"the beaches are beautiful, the weather is great 7 months out of the year, cost of living is low and the pace is slower than the northeast. Entertainment options are endless in places like Orland, Tampa, etc. So much to love here!! BUT, while the cost of living is low, wages are lower as well, it is very hot for five months out of the year with high humidity and many people don't like to engage outside at this time. The lower crime areas are more rural so you can avoid it, but those areas also have less jobs and lower pay. Come down and check it out. Talk to people who live here.

In other words, I could give it straight. OR I could throw in a bunch of

"Florida isn't all it's cracked up to be. Everyone thinks it is paradise. Good luck getting used to the heat if you are moving from the north east. And honestly, our schools are no where near as good as yours. You won't be able to afford water front on what you are making unless you want to live on a lake infested with alligators. Even then you might not be able to afford it and good luck bringing your dog here. Thousands are eaten by gators every year. So actually forget about living on that lake. Florida living is totally different than New England living. Christmas sucks without snow. Yeah, there are palm trees and those are great, but eventually the newness wears off and you just want a good ol' Christmas tree. Which btw die pretty damn quick because of the heat and how far they have to be shipped. Culture shock for your kids may not be too bad since they are so young but for you....good luck. Anyway, everyone in America makes fun of Floridians. Why do you want to move here again?

Re: Feeling Deflated

Spartygrad95
August 19, 2015 09:19PM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 1,885

Come to the USVI.....


Re: Feeling Deflated

FLLisa
August 19, 2015 09:45PM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 126

Go and visit. Stay as long as you can and go as often as you can - even though you'll spend a lot of money doing it, it could end up cheaper than moving there before you're sure and having to turn around and move back, or staying and being miserable.

I've been thinking about a move to STX for about 3 years now. I have gotten discouraged from this forum a few times, but have also been grateful and impressed with many of the observations of residents that I've read here as well. This summer, I spent 3 weeks in STX volunteering at a summer program for middle school kids so that I might see what it would be like to have to be somewhere at a certain time instead of just doing vacation stuff. Shopped for groceries, line dried laundry to (try) and save on the WAPA bill, and met several great people that I now count as friends and look forward to seeing again. Regardless of what you read, I think a decision to move or not move has to be from personal experience.

Re: Feeling Deflated

shangirl
August 19, 2015 09:46PM

Registered: 3 years ago
Posts: 136

Thank you . I love unicorns. And rainbows.cool

Re: Feeling Deflated

shangirl
August 19, 2015 09:52PM

Registered: 3 years ago
Posts: 136

Thanks FLLisa- I should add that I have also learned a ton of stuff from this forum. Things I wouldn't have even thought to ask. I guess I feel like I am surrounded by a lot of ho hum, life sucks negativity in the states and also a feel that everyone thinks there has to be more to life but yet they don't go after it. I love life (generally) and love adventure and kind of don't fit in with the typical complaining American. I feel like there is a culture of complaining here. It is draining. Would love to find some people who feel differently. Somewhere.

Re: Feeling Deflated

Spartygrad95
August 19, 2015 10:15PM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 1,885

Quote
shangirl
Thanks FLLisa- I should add that I have also learned a ton of stuff from this forum. Things I wouldn't have even thought to ask. I guess I feel like I am surrounded by a lot of ho hum, life sucks negativity in the states and also a feel that everyone thinks there has to be more to life but yet they don't go after it. I love life (generally) and love adventure and kind of don't fit in with the typical complaining American. I feel like there is a culture of complaining here. It is draining. Would love to find some people who feel differently. Somewhere.
Scandinavian countries are typically "happiest". Taxed to hell but get many things that would make many Americans happier for their tax money

Re: Feeling Deflated

wanderer
August 19, 2015 10:42PM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 596

Quote
Spartygrad95
Scandinavian countries are typically "happiest". Taxed to hell but get many things that would make many Americans happier for their tax money

I was once fascinated with the "happiness index", so I did some research. Countries like Switzerland, Sweden, and Norway do end up on the top of some "happiness" lists, but these lists are often criticized for heavy bias towards the "financial happiness".

There were alternative happiness indices proposed. According to one of them, 151 countries were compared, and the winners were Costa Rica, Vietnam, Colombia, Belize and El Salvador. You would not guess so, would you?

The bottom line, we don't quite know how to measure happiness.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/19/2015 10:43PM by wanderer.

Re: Feeling Deflated

shangirl
August 19, 2015 11:23PM

Registered: 3 years ago
Posts: 136

Interesting info Wanderer. Financial happiness is not the whole picture for me, but a little money doesn't hurt.

Re: Feeling Deflated

Spartygrad95
August 20, 2015 12:17AM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 1,885

I saw those lists too which had many central,American nations on it. Happiness is subjective, I agree, but I think the non stop fighting for crumbs wears at Americans.

Re: Feeling Deflated

East Ender
August 20, 2015 07:25AM

Registered: 13 years ago
Posts: 4,983

shangirl- I do believe you are right- there is a negative streak on this board. Some people are not happy with their lives here, but some really want to alert newbies to the reality of living in a territory that is very different from any state. There are so many people who come and stay only 6 months, you do need to know that. If you want to stay only 6 months, fine. It can be an adventure, too. Listen to the naysayers, but don't take them to heart. Only you can decide if this is YOUR adventure.

Re: Feeling Deflated

speee1dy
August 20, 2015 07:34AM

Registered: 10 years ago
Posts: 8,647

just come on down and enjoy. what some people call negativity to them is being a realist. dont ever let someone elses judgment dictate what you do in life.

Re: Feeling Deflated

Gumbo
August 20, 2015 08:21AM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 490

I'm now in my seventh year on STT. Sure school for my son has been expensive. Lots of things weren't as I hoped. However the things I love outweigh what I don't. I have been very blessed to have been able to live here. If it's your plan, try it. What you left will always be there.

Re: Feeling Deflated

rnblade
August 20, 2015 11:27AM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 33

I agree I almost didn't come after reading these boards. I've been hear 7 months now and not coming would have been the biggest mistake I could have made. For my family the islands are heaven and the quirks of the island are part of the show. Yes it's expensive, things can be hard to find and there is crime like everywhere else, but I alway feel safe here and don't mind driving down some small dirt road to find a beach or other surprise.

There are definitely things you should be aware of, realise your dream may not work out or it may change after you have been here awhile. Have a back up plan incase it doesn't work but, if it is your dream go for it.

Hope you always chase your dreams.

Re: Feeling Deflated

SapphireBeach
August 20, 2015 11:55AM

Registered: 6 years ago
Posts: 12

I think most posts try to be helpful, just letting you know living here is not all palm trees and umbrella drinks. Only you can decide if the pros outweigh the cons or vice-versa. I suspect type A personalities who "want what they want and now" don't do very well. I own a property on St. Thomas and I'm not there year round, but a good bit of the year. I get a bit frustrated when I can't find what I need at the grocery store or waiting in line at the bank. But, when I'm on my beach enjoying the weather and the view all that frustration fades away. It's a very personal decision whether you'll be happy living "on the rock".

Re: Feeling Deflated

SunnyCaribe
August 20, 2015 12:35PM

Registered: 7 years ago
Posts: 495

As I've said enough times to bore the regulars, I've lived here 25 years and I never would have moved here if I had had this board to influence me, which is fortunate since I have never found this board reflects what living here is really like. Almost everyone here has good intentions, but most residents come here to @#$%& about something. As you mine the archives note that there will be hundreds of discussions about the former governor's gate and the phony scandal that was invented to throw shade on the man, but almost no discussion of the new fiber optic backbone that the territory is putting in place (except to @#$%& about the resulting detours.) That's human nature.

Another thing to note is that this board is mostly white continentals who are in various stages of acclimating (or not) to the islands, with very few contributions by west indian people who comprise the overwhelming majority of the population.

This board is a useful resource but not a reliable representation of life in the islands.

Re: Feeling Deflated

Juanita
August 20, 2015 12:37PM

Registered: 12 years ago
Posts: 3,107

Quote
shangirl
After reading so much, feeling a bit deflated here on my idea of moving to the USVI. I never did feel like the islands were an escape from all negativity ie: bad schools, crime, traffic, bad attitudes, etc. but I did feel like it could be a wonderful adventure, living in a new place, a tropical island.

Yes, I would still work, and still deal with all kinds of life hiccups, that was expected. But I thought maybe the juice would be worth the squeeze, as one poster said here.

What I didn't expect was so much dissatisfaction and discouragement. Of course, if the schools are bad, that should be said ( I was planning on private anyway) and if crime is bad, that should be noted ( I have traveled to many islands and have felt I needed to be careful, in St. Kitts especially, so that was not a surprise) but it seems like the little comments added in, or the way it is said, makes all the difference.

I live in a place (Florida) where many like to visit AND move to. Florida has a lot of positives and many negatives as well. I could say...

"the beaches are beautiful, the weather is great 7 months out of the year, cost of living is low and the pace is slower than the northeast. Entertainment options are endless in places like Orland, Tampa, etc. So much to love here!! BUT, while the cost of living is low, wages are lower as well, it is very hot for five months out of the year with high humidity and many people don't like to engage outside at this time. The lower crime areas are more rural so you can avoid it, but those areas also have less jobs and lower pay. Come down and check it out. Talk to people who live here.

In other words, I could give it straight. OR I could throw in a bunch of

"Florida isn't all it's cracked up to be. Everyone thinks it is paradise. Good luck getting used to the heat if you are moving from the north east. And honestly, our schools are no where near as good as yours. You won't be able to afford water front on what you are making unless you want to live on a lake infested with alligators. Even then you might not be able to afford it and good luck bringing your dog here. Thousands are eaten by gators every year. So actually forget about living on that lake. Florida living is totally different than New England living. Christmas sucks without snow. Yeah, there are palm trees and those are great, but eventually the newness wears off and you just want a good ol' Christmas tree. Which btw die pretty damn quick because of the heat and how far they have to be shipped. Culture shock for your kids may not be too bad since they are so young but for you....good luck. Anyway, everyone in America makes fun of Floridians. Why do you want to move here again?


So, are you saying you want people to respond like your first paragraph? Are you saying most people respond like your second paragraph?

Everything you said in your second paragraph is true... for some people. 1000 dogs a year eaten by gators????? Maybe not that part!! You wrote it with a sarcastic tone to make your point, I understand that. BUT very, very, seldom does anyone of the regulars on here post with that sort of tone unless they have been pushed by a troll. They may say the things you don't want to hear, but like in your description of FL, it's basically true.

It's been said over and over and over again...Only you can decide if the VI is right for you, if the positives outweigh the negatives for you, if you stay a while and leave or... stay the rest of your life.

I haven't followed any of your posts, so forgive me if I missed it, but have you been here, and do you plan to do a pre-move visit? A PMV can't really tell you if this will be your final home, but it can help determine if you even want to give it a shot.

As I've said a few times before, you can't take the forum too seriously. There is a wealth of good info, but take what you find helpful, and use it, and ignore the rest.

Best of luck, whatever you decide.

Juanita

Re: Feeling Deflated

vicanuck
August 20, 2015 12:39PM

Registered: 8 years ago
Posts: 2,285

I've lived here 11 years and, like others have said, if I had known about this board, I would have been scared off and not come.

I'm so glad I moved here...the kids loved it, and we are very happy.

I hate the rat race on the mainland and could never return to that way of life.

Re: Feeling Deflated

stxsailor
August 20, 2015 01:14PM

Registered: 3 years ago
Posts: 527

The move will be what you make it. I've been here 4 years and had a few bumps in the road but all in all it was worth it and I don't plan on going anywhere. This is a good forum with lots of helpful advise although there will always be naysayers, and those just wanted to start something or hell bent to prove you wrong. Take it for what it is. It's kind of like a heated discussion in a bar. Lots of good points and lotsof BS, take what you need discard what you don't simple

Re: Feeling Deflated

Alana33
August 20, 2015 01:19PM

Registered: 6 years ago
Posts: 12,075

Just don't have unrealistic attitudes.
"Island life isn't for everyone."
We've all seen many leave, disenchanted.
Some people take to it like a duck to water, others don't.
It's really up to the individual, their expectations and willingness to acclimate.

What's the worst that can happen?
If you move here and decide island life is not your cup of tea, you can pack up and move back to the states. You've gained a valuable experience and learned more about yourself, your needs, wants likes and dislikes and probably enjoyed some portion of being here.

If you love it and stay, then welcome.
But you won't know unless you try.

Re: Feeling Deflated

wanderer
August 20, 2015 02:19PM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 596

Quote
SunnyCaribe
Another thing to note is that this board is mostly white continentals who are in various stages of acclimating (or not) to the islands, with very few contributions by west indian people who comprise the overwhelming majority of the population. This board is a useful resource but not a reliable representation of life in the islands.

Well, this is the relocation forum, and the majority of people relocating to VI are indeed white continentals. So, it's not surprising that the dominating majority posters here are the white continentals who have at some point in time relocated to VI.

However, I see your point. I've just reversed the situation in my head. Imagine the relocation discussion board to Norway, created and dominated by West Indians who have or want to move there. For a regular Norwegian, it would probably be hilarious to read that discussion board, where West Indians bring forth their biases and attitudes about Norway, and about their transplant experiences which have no relevance to the typical Norwegian life.

So, SunnyCaribe, I am interested to know: if this VI discussion board was driven by West Indians, what kind of topics and discussions would we see here?



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 08/20/2015 02:48PM by wanderer.

Re: Feeling Deflated

islandjoan
August 20, 2015 03:15PM

Registered: 11 years ago
Posts: 1,678

to wanderer:

I love your analogy!

There already is a board driven by West Indians! It's the viconsortium!!!
(well, the message section below the news stories is sort of a board)

There you can see the kinds of topics and discussions that West Indians have.

Re: Feeling Deflated

speee1dy
August 20, 2015 03:16PM

Registered: 10 years ago
Posts: 8,647

interesting question for sure

Re: Feeling Deflated

Alana33
August 20, 2015 03:25PM

Registered: 6 years ago
Posts: 12,075

I am a native Virgin Islander.
There are a couple of others here as well such as Ronnie, Cruzaniron, monogram, to name a few.

We are concerned about our islands, the politics, the environment, and all that goes on here as it is our home, for better or worse.
We have history here. If y'all don't like it, lump it it. ( no offense intended!)

We have seen tons of people, eager to move here to experience "paradise" with unrealistic expectations, pack it in and go home within weeks, months or years of moving here. It resonates with some and doesn't with other but only the individual can decide what does and doesn't work for them.

Re: Feeling Deflated

shangirl
August 20, 2015 03:33PM

Registered: 3 years ago
Posts: 136

So many great responses. Thank You! And this is why I have kept reading. I think I was a little grumpy when I wrote that post ;-/ One thing I feel I am looking for (and in general, not just on an island) is people who have a little bit more of a laid back attitude than the typical stateside American. I thought that people who were willing to pick up and move to an island might fit that category. I now find some do, some don't. That will have to be OK.

Juanita- I wasn't grumpy about the realistic posts. I need reality. It was the difference in tone in my two paragraphs in my OP that I was trying to get across. They both stated what would be considered negative attributes of Florida, the second one was more discouraging than the first, IMO. Reading things like "good luck with the culture shock" was a little discouraging. I'm thinking "wait, I'm hoping for a good dose of culture shock. Will it be too much?" Anyway, like I said, I was grumpy. And I doubt thousands of dogs are eaten by gators in Florida, but I know many a small dog and cat who have been. ;-)

My daughter and I will do a PMV. I have only been to STT and only for a day on a cruise. I've been to many different islands in the Caribbean and Mexico but all have been on cruise ships since they are so easy to take out of Florida. I have never been to STX, which after doing some research I am leaning toward, but won't know until I visit.

One question I have about crime...I have looked up lots of statistics since reading so much about it here. I find the USVI to consistently fall in the middle when it comes to safety in the Caribbean. Not the safest, not the most dangerous either. Can anyone answer what types of things would make you a target of crime beside the typical things such as being in the wrong area late at night, etc ( I have to watch that even in Tampa where crime is higher than other parts of the US). Would I be a target just because I am a white woman? That is something I can't change, so that would be more of a concern for me.

Again, thanks to all!!

Re: Feeling Deflated

wanderer
August 20, 2015 05:03PM

Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 596

Quote
Alana33
I am a native Virgin Islander.

That's a highly controversial term, popularized by Adelbert Bryan, and it's tightly associated with racial bigotry and rejection of "outsiders". There is no such legal or ethnic designation, and the entire thing was invented with the single purpose of granting special rights to certain people in VI. Thankfully, it never happened, as this term and the associated "privileges" were struck down by the US Department of Justice as unconstitutional.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/20/2015 05:05PM by wanderer.

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