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Anonymous
 Anonymous
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good morning i have been living on st croix for just over a year and have been amazed at the general hatred the locals have towards me and my girl-friend. we are very friendly people and use the proper greetings but it just doesn't seem to work. From what people have told me is that the locals can be reserved. But is there a need for being just plain rude. To tell you the truth i am having a hard time figuring out why i should say. The beach is great beautiful sun sets. but it doesn't seem to make up for the incredibly expensive housing,expensive stores and over all lack of respect for one one another. It hard to make it of you don't make a substantial amount of money or just have a second home here. i have lived in expensive places in the states like Vail CO and rent was out of control but at least you got what you payed for and nice place nice neighbors etc. here i just feel like i will always be an outsider due to me being a continental. all people that come here from the states don't have MONEY we came here with 2000 dollars and two bags of clothes. i think the most frustrating experience i have had was buying vegetables from a stand on the side of the road and the lady charged me more for the same thing the guy before me bought i don't want to jump to an conclusions but is it isn't hard to figure it out

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Posted : November 6, 2006 1:34 pm
Anonymous
 Anonymous
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welcome to de island mon! Why should the people treat anybody any different than the government does them????
I have been on island more than off for 16 years and have found that life is too short to waste it on those who don't even like themselves...ignore those who ignore you and you'll find nice people just around the corner.
In all my years on the island and travel to dozens of other countries, drop the people who don't care and find those who are nice and all sorts of impressions will change. There really are some nice people on the island, just take time and you'll find them.

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Posted : November 6, 2006 1:49 pm
Linda from Michigan
(@Linda_from_Michigan)
Trusted Member

In defense of no one....
I've let people know that I am a local (as opposed to a visitor). It makes a difference sometimes. Should it? Who's to say?
It's tough living here at times. I don't have money and fare just fine. I've been here a year and a half and wouldn't go back to the states to live.

Where do you live here? What brought you here in the first place? Can you go back to those reasons? Do you work? Are you happy doing what you do? What is it you are looking for from being here? Answer these and maybe you'll find a reason - to go or to stay.

Lots of luck - let me know if I can help.

Linda

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Posted : November 6, 2006 2:55 pm
Charles P. McAuliffe
 Charles P. McAuliffe
(@Charles P. McAuliffe)
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Let that road side vendor know your going to be a regular customer and you live on the island and watch the price come down

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Posted : November 6, 2006 5:33 pm
KEH
 KEH
(@KEH)
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Your points are well taken. Sometimes it is hard to make friends here on the islands of the true locals. In part it is their defense mechanism because so many people come and go that they often feel like why bother developing a relationship and energy to people that you know in 6 months to a year will be gone anyway. Having grown up on the island and been gone for many years, when I come back I am almost a stranger in my own home. There are so many new faces. It seems like all the people I grew up with are not around. Some are but they keep pretty much to themselves and are not out at night downtown or strolling Christiansted. Once in a while I will run into someone by accident and it is great. I do not say that this is exactly what is happening in your situation but it is not helping you feel a part of the community. Maybe thru this board you will be able to connect with some nice people...it only takes a few...to make your experience better. What is your age group...interests? Maybe you can help someone else who may be felling the same way and in doing so help yourself. K

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Posted : November 6, 2006 7:09 pm
Linda J
(@Linda_J)
Expert

We've been here for 3 years and find most people friendly, reserved, but friendly. Maybe because we're older and live in the hills in the West.

One of our fellow employees (West Indian) came over to look at a "fixer upper" car we have for sale. The next day at work he said to my husband "you are not like other white people". Ric wasn't sure how to take that - but he took it as a compliment.

In the defense of .... whoever - the turnover in continentials is amazing. Of the people we've met and befriended over the last 3 years, I'd say that AT LEAST 80% of them are back in the states. It does make it hard to have close friends.

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Posted : November 6, 2006 8:44 pm
Iris Richardson
(@Iris_Richardson)
Advanced Member

I can somewhat understand that one does not want to invest in a friendship with a newcomer. However, as a business I would think I like to be friendly regardless. After all I assume they do like the money of tourists as much as the money of locals. It just does not make sense at all to be rude. I would take my business else if I where you. I also would let them know that you just witnessed that the person before you paid less. If they still ask for the higher price leave without buying their product. I witnessed such rude behavior at the Italian market in Philadelphia. I now know who I will not buy from. Like the other poster said there are enough nice people.

Good Luck I hope it will get better.
Iris

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Posted : November 6, 2006 10:36 pm
terry
(@terry)
Expert

Well I do know that some of the dive boats will give a break to locals. One that I used to dive with, said i not only had to have a place there, I had to have a drivers license. My guess is that if I had one of those, he would want something else. LOL. I have even heard his crew say that they didn't want locals.
The other two that I dive with now, will give me the local discount even though I am only down there a couple of months a year, but own a condo.
So far all of the locals I have met have been reserved but friendly. Maybe I've just been lucky.

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Posted : November 7, 2006 2:13 am
Joanna
(@joanna-cssweb)
Advanced Member

My two cents, and you may further discount it since so far we are "only" yearly visitors.

Since people are both so similar and so different all at once, I find getting along with people an important riddle wherever I go. I consider the global problems of conflict and feel that my truest contribution to peace is my own relating to others day by day. Everywhere I go, there are both folks that I resonate with and those for whom it is harder to relate in a harmonious way.

I have made some great and loyal friends among the locals, some of whom have visited us in Philadelphia. When I encounter people that I am not getting along well with, I try to see myself in their shoes and give them the benefit of doubting they meant to be uncivil.

I also know to be wary of double standards and resentments that do exist... and of the minority of uncivil people. I have also been jarred by some experiences of culture shock, which is different from incivility.

It does not surprise me that "locals" give "locals" a discount or friendlier service. Although I see no excuse for rudeness or dishonesty, the reservation toward people who may disappear the next week, or a second local economy operating in parallel because of the apparent class divide on the island, makes some sense...whether I actually agree with it or not. I have seen that double standard in other places in the world, often where there is a class of people struggling to make ends meet.

When we bought our house, we were well aware of the dual pricing for real estate prices, and ultimately bought by word of mouth at a reasonable price by being very patient. I can't blame local people for trying to make the most of their resources, where well paying jobs are scarce, etc

I hope you find the local folks that you CAN enjoy.

-- Joanna

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Posted : November 7, 2006 3:52 pm
Anonymous
 Anonymous
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I have visited the island only three times thus far, but each time I have met locals who have been very friendly to me. On my most recent visit a gentleman & his wife bought a meal for me while standing in line at Singh's. I have met locals that have been bahn & raised there and they have opened their doors to me wide. I guess it is just hit or miss; although I have been told that most thought I was local anyway...which was quite a compliment to me.
Best of luck to you and remember to manifest positivity each day and watch it come to be.

Bless

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Posted : November 8, 2006 7:05 pm
danieljude
(@danieljude)
Advanced Member

I'm not sure why, but I have never had trouble or rudeness with anyone. After 15 months, I can say that the warmth factor has gone up significantly, but I also live and work with people who are born and raised here.

An interesting note is that my neighborhood is almost all Crucian. My closest neighbor came over one day and told me at one of our meetings by the fence that the 'neighborhood has accepted me'. I guess the jury was out until I was here for awhile, and when I turned out to be a good neighbor, kept my house and yard clean, etc., I was accepted. Since then, we do a lot of sharing of plants, foods, etc.

One thing that I also think helps is that most people know I live here and have no intention of leaving. I also walk funny as for some time I did not walk at all after being hit by a truck. People seem to warm up to a person with a visible disability, and there is a code on the island of being helpful. Generally, I can open doors (although some are ridiculously heavy). Visitors, people from the states and people who are from the island are all helpful with things like doors, and it usually leads to talking for a bit.

The last thing is that I am bilingual Spanish/English. As I speak Spanish a lot here, when I switch back to English I often have a slight accent as with Spanish, different parts of the mouth are used. I have found that when
speaking in Spanish, I make almost immediate friends, as the Latinos are culturally a very warm, effusive people.

Just a few observations. If I had to make a recommendation, take the time to talk with people. When you go to a cashier, don't just say Good Morning, follow up with general talk about the weather, how are you today, etc. It goes a long way.

Best wishes,

Dan

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Posted : November 9, 2006 12:17 pm
BGee
 BGee
(@BGee)
Advanced Member

Hi Dan
I'm wondering if you know of any locals who teach Spanish lessons on STT? I know very minimal Spanish, but I have also found that Latinos warm up to others who are at least attempting to talk their language. And, of course, they laugh WITH me over my mistakes! Laughter is universal and brings people together.
Thanks!
BGee

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Posted : November 9, 2006 3:10 pm
bethburnett70
(@bethburnett70)
Advanced Member

I love our little island, local and expats alike. I have rarely met any rude people and I think am in a special circumstance since I am part of a female couple and have heard that this island is very homophobic. All of the locals we have met have accepted us as a couple, treat us like a couple, talk to me like I'm the "wife" of the family, ie: it is my "job" to bring Tabra lunch when she's working... and they give me recipes sometimes, which is hilarious, since I am a terrible cook.
I have found that some people are a little reserved... generally, if we are frequenting a new store, they are a little standoffish until I have been back a few times... then the warmth starts coming out.
In the case of the pricing, I probably would have said "Never mind.. i know of a place that doesn't charge different prices for different people"

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Posted : November 9, 2006 3:28 pm
Linda from Michigan
(@Linda_from_Michigan)
Trusted Member

Beth,
You and Tabra are truely special people. You guys are so comfortable - people couldn't not be nice to you.

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Posted : November 10, 2006 10:08 am
terry
(@terry)
Expert

I agree with Linda. If you have not yet Beth, stop by to see her at her newly opened used bookstore. It's on 70 next to the party place.

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Posted : November 10, 2006 12:29 pm
bethburnett70
(@bethburnett70)
Advanced Member

Awww. shucks, guys... I feel as special as a two yolk egg! 🙂

P.S Terry you are going to be on island in time for my birthday! (November 21... in case anyone wonders, I would like a Yacht with a full crew. 🙂

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Posted : November 10, 2006 4:22 pm
terry
(@terry)
Expert

Yes we will be there. will Annie's kayak do:)

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Posted : November 11, 2006 12:59 pm
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