Attack of the Kille...
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Attack of the Killer Machete

Posts: 878
Prominent Member
Topic starter

Why is it West Indians choose to *ahem* trim everything with the machete?

Our landlord decided to trim one of our trees that was finally recovering from Omar. The poor thing was attacked over and over again with nothing but him hacking with his machete, leaving the tree brutalized and unrecognizable!
I have this stump with jagged spears for branches on top & 3 normal branches left at the bottom..........I was just shocked & horror-ed when I arrived home to see what was left!
Thank goodness we do not have kids, for if they got too close they could be impaled from the monstrosity!!!!

The house we stayed last summer had it's landscaping brutalized by a crazed machete wielding *cough* gardener.........the neighbor behind us every day is outside whacking feverishly with his............What gives??!

Posted : May 5, 2009 8:18 pm
Posts: 129
Estimable Member


i noticed that as well when i lived there.
it is the same on all the islands.
it probably comes from when ones used them as an everyday tool to clear land and so.
on the other hand, i am glad i learned to swing one in more ways than not.
mainly for chopping bush as you walk through.
i have used them as a tool.:-)
some use them as a weapon or both a tool and a weapon.:-o
i for one think they are good for both.;)
so a gardener (though questionable), most oft time being a man, goes wild with a machete.
kinda like the guy tim, the tool man, on home improvement......
that is awful that your tree was cut down.:-(:-(:-(
i would ask him the next time i saw him the reasoning behind his decision to hack the tree so.:S

Sis Irijah

Posted : May 5, 2009 8:59 pm
Posts: 862
Prominent Member

One of my favorite gardening activities is to wack at the tan-tan growing in my yard with a machete! It is both a workout and relieves any sort of stress or anger issues (not that I have many in general 😉 ). I don't know why others do it...perhaps its more cost effective than a chainsaw or whatever other sort of noisy, expensive machinery used to cut things down nowadays.

Posted : May 5, 2009 11:02 pm
A Davis
Posts: 687
Honorable Member

now that i think about it, i can remember whacking away in a little yard i had here with a machete. it was quite cathartic, as i was in quite a lather at the time!:D

Posted : May 6, 2009 12:37 am
Posts: 1495
Noble Member

Just watch what you "wack" . Scared of those big dangerous knives. I use to have a gardner also that would not use big loppers, chainsaw or handsaw. Had to have his sharp machete close by. But he sure knew how to use it.

Posted : May 6, 2009 2:10 pm
Posts: 1495
Noble Member

p.s. Just keep machetes away from one of our past senators.....(bryant) hehe

at vets office once and happened to arrive just as the animal shelter was bringing a poor dog who had been "wacked"
by machete. poor dog didnt make it. I hate those things.

Posted : May 6, 2009 2:16 pm
Posts: 878
Prominent Member
Topic starter

If it was true bush that needed to be cleared I completely understand, but our yard is well kept with a few trees........and once per month they come to weed whack the yard & attack every tree with brute force to the point it looks like I gave a pack of squirrels crack & a machete then turned them loose in the's just the strangest thing. :S
Thanks for those whom tried to explain this phenom

Posted : May 6, 2009 2:37 pm
Posts: 812
Prominent Member

I used to watch Gladiator, sip a few Rums & go at the bush w/ a machette(really released some tension & cleared enough land for my tenants driveway in one afternoon!).
After, i hired locals to cut the bush, but they must have thought I meant destroy my yard.<<If this is what you wish, borrow a goat, a rope & a rebar to drive in the soil(MUCH cheaper & effective)

Now, I drink vodka & think about gladiator(for the larger cuts), & do it myself.
Still a great way to let off steam & properly maintain the yard!

Posted : May 6, 2009 11:58 pm
Posts: 254
Reputable Member

I must say I hate using a machete for any really work. Its right there with a grass whip and bush axe. A good weed whacker with a steel blade on it will walk you through brush. With a machete you will make it 20 feet with blisters on your hands and body covered in ticks. For pruning trees loppers are faster , easy and better. For the opening of the coconut they have good use, but if you just want the water a cord-less drill is much better. I know that's lazy.

Posted : May 7, 2009 6:53 am
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