Notifications
Clear all

Finding a mate

 
mkoz
 mkoz
(@mkoz)
Advanced Member

I'm 36 and moving to St. Croix. When it comes time for female companionship I understand my options are limited, I am a white male and not opposed to interracial relationships, does anyone know if local women feel the same?

Quote
Topic starter Posted : October 1, 2007 4:50 pm
letahl
(@letahl)
Advanced Member

Just like white males, some local women of color are interested in interracial relationships and others are not. It's a matter of mingling in the right circles where you can meet women who might like you. I have not seen as many statesider-local relationships as I expected before moving down here.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 1, 2007 5:00 pm
mkoz
 mkoz
(@mkoz)
Advanced Member

Are there any popular websites for dating that locals generally use?

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : October 1, 2007 5:13 pm
letahl
(@letahl)
Advanced Member

I'm taken, so I don't use it myself for this, but I hear that people use Myspace to meet people. Its not super common, but lots of people statesider and local are on the site.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 2, 2007 1:10 pm
Iguana
(@Iguana)
Advanced Member

If you're coming to STX it is BYOW... "bring your own woman". Middle aged SWMs have it rough down here. Believe me, I know. It is not impossible just highly improbable. The pool of eligible women to choose from is small. The Wset Indian women have little interest in relationships with continentals who may only be here for a short time. The competition for the available SWFs is huge. There's all the Hovensa guys who may turn out to be married but with a wife back home. So basically there's too much demand for too little supply. "You don't lose your girlfriend down here... you lose your plac in line!".

My advice find lout how mnuch shipping costs and maintenance are and BYOW!

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 2, 2007 1:53 pm
dntw8up
(@dntw8up)
Trusted Member

I know many Continentals who met their Continental spouses here. Perhaps they were able to forge satisfying relationships here because they didn't approach relationships with the opposite sex as a matter of "shipping costs and maintenance" or a "place in line." The Continentals I know wouldn't waste time with someone who perceives the opposite sex as a commodity, so it is no surprise that folks with a commodity perspective find it challenging to connect with the opposite sex. It also depends on where you look for companionship i.e. through volunteer work vs. warming a barstool.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 2, 2007 2:28 pm
letahl
(@letahl)
Advanced Member

+1 for dntw8up's answer.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 2, 2007 4:34 pm
The New Improved Jane
(@The_New_Improved_Jane)
Advanced Member

I met my husband on St X - he stood out mainly because he was one of the few undesperate, untacky, and unloutish individuals there that didn't use any of the phrases in the previous posts.
He was just living his full and interesting life and we just happened to connect. Wow, what a concept.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 2, 2007 5:08 pm
Alexandra
(@Alexandra)
Trusted Member

I've also seen differences in how successful people are at developing relationships on the island that vary depending on whether they plan to live here long-term or whether they know they are here short term. The Hovensa guys are mostly here short-term, so most aren't seeking long-term relationships with the women they meet on-island. It's hardly a surprise that they don't often find a long-term relationship when they didn't want one to begin with.

Men living here with the intent of staying are still fighting the numbers when trying to meet women, but they have the advantage over short-term resident men when it comes to attracting long-term resident females who are out there in the dating pool.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 2, 2007 5:13 pm
Lizard
(@Lizard)
Trusted Member

I didn't see anything on mkoz post about looking for a wife, He asked about female companionship and dating.
Iguana gave him, his point of view from his perspective. I've been out of the dating scene for a long------long time!
So I can't help! However in my day from my perspective, if I wanted to meet someone, I would of cut in line, hung from a chandelier, warmed a barstool and joined the peace corp if necessary.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 2, 2007 5:37 pm
mkoz
 mkoz
(@mkoz)
Advanced Member

wow, alot of responses, i like the kind gentle aproach and not the cut in line type, all i want is to fall in love with my soul mate-not to compete with the male population on stx. Thank you for your responces though, thats why i am here. I need opinions from all angles.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : October 2, 2007 5:50 pm
Iguana
(@Iguana)
Advanced Member

Sorry if I've offended anyone. I was trying to be funny in my post and, as usual in electornic posting humor does not come across well. My intent was misconstrued. I shall refrain from being flippant in future. I do not look upon women as a commodity. "Shipping costs and maintenance", believe it or not, was a joke.

It is very difficult, though not impossible, to find a mate down here for swms of a certain age. I went to a friend's party two weeks ago on the south shore. There were about a dozen women there. All of them were married. The islands tend to attract single men and most... not all... swfs who relocate here are under 30. This board is about informing folks about the reality of life here and this aspect of life in the VI happens to be an area in which I have some experience. It would be interesting to see the demographics of the ratio between swms between 30 & 50 to swfs between 30 & 50. I'd bet the condo it ain't 1:1. Given that the numbers are stacked against men in the 30-50 age bracket, I just thought it would be helpful to let someone know the reality of what life can be like here when you are a single continental male in that age demographic. You make your peace with it or you leave. Obviously, I stayed and I'll keep looking despite the odds. Who knows MKOZ may be in the right place at the right time and find someone. Like everything else down here, it is not the same as it is back on de mainlahnd.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 3, 2007 4:18 pm
robo841
(@robo841)
Advanced Member

I tend to think it's more about where you are in your own life than geography. I do believe that things happen when you aren't looking for them.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 3, 2007 4:27 pm
rkurpiers
(@rkurpiers)
Advanced Member

Iguana wrote:
>The islands tend to attract single men and most... not all... swfs who relocate here are under 30.

Just trying to keep this straight in my head. I'm a 49-year old SWM and most of the SWFs who relocate to the islands are under 30.

Hmmm...I'm beginning to feel a strong urge to move back to the V.I. 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 3, 2007 5:49 pm
The New Improved Jane
(@The_New_Improved_Jane)
Advanced Member

I was in the right place at the right time with the right person. Neither of us were looking. Just a sidebar, we are probably not classified as being in the same age bracket...he is 17yrs older than I am. So, to heck with the numbers.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 3, 2007 7:16 pm
barbie
(@barbie)
Advanced Member

iguana, you are a hot mess LOL, if i want a good laugh i just have to turn this baby on to you guys and i 'll be LOL.

ReplyQuote
Posted : October 6, 2007 11:55 am
Close Menu