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Gay friendly?

 
guysmiles
(@guysmiles)
New Member

Hey there! I am a gay man that may be offered a job in St. Croix very soon. I've been doing a lot of research and although the move may be a bit daunting, I am more interested in the glbt community there or attitude - specifically in St. Croix, however any of the islands would be great.

I am not really that interested in bars and such - not really my style. I just want to know about 30-40 yr old dating possibilities - overall island attitude of "live let live" etc.

Any resources, advice, websites etc would be appreciated. I'd love any feedback.

Thank you! (36yo educator here).

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Topic starter Posted : June 9, 2009 3:22 am
Marty on STT
(@Marty_on_STT)
Trusted Member

"live and let live" isn't as highly regarded here as some would like everyone to think...many locals are very closed-minded regarding G/LR and will be very vocal about it. Do a "Search" on the board, as it's been discussed many times, but, the general 'gist' of things is: Don't be overtly flaunting your relationship and you will not have any problems...but if you walk down the street holding hands, or any other forms of PDA, then you will be opening the door for major discrimination...personally, I think everyone should do whatever feels right to them, so, if you're straight, be straight, if you're gay, be gay...but don't show off either to the public...I think you will get some replies from others that share your lifestyle and may have better input for you....

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Posted : June 9, 2009 11:55 am
speee1dy
(@speee1dy)
Expert

personally, i dont have a problem. i say as long as a person is happy and does not hurt someone else in their quest for happiness i am all for it. their are a few gays on island. i don know the percentage. all are nice. i hope that if you do move here you will not have any problems.

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Posted : June 9, 2009 12:06 pm
Betty
(@Betty)
Trusted Member

"I just want to know about 30-40 yr old dating possibilities "

It will be extremely slim on stx, a little better on stt but not a whole lot. From my gay friends what I hear is most of the local men that are gay here are afraid to come out becasue their family will disown them. So its like dating a married man. This is the type of place where its better to have a mate of some kind. The only gay friends I have here have been in long term relationships for a long time now.

I would strongly recommend a pmv (pre move visit) for you. Its a different culture and if you single it may be a bit lonely here. So check it out first. 🙂

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Posted : June 9, 2009 1:03 pm
bethburnett70
(@bethburnett70)
Advanced Member

There is a pretty large gay community on St Croix and there are often potlucks or gatherings at various restaurants... a great place to meet people, but not really a great place to meet single men, unless they are visiting friends. The single community here, gay or straight, from what I get from my single friends, tends to be limited and not of the quality you may want. I have had several single friends tell me that they found the best way to date on the island is to"lower their standards"

As for the acceptance of the locals here, my partner and I are obviously a couple and we have not had any issues. People just take us as we are. We don't sit around and make out in public, but I prefer not to see straight people doing that either.

If you are single and offered a job and have the finances to do it, I would recommend taking the plunge anyway... this is a great island and life is short.

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Posted : June 9, 2009 7:03 pm
guysmiles
(@guysmiles)
New Member

Thank you BethBurnett70! And everyone else. I feel pretty good about it - nothing is official yet, but I definitely love the idea. This website is very helpful. I'll have to lookout for those gatherings to create a nice community. I am also hoping in STT or Puerto Rico I could also expand my GLBT world. Who knows!

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Topic starter Posted : June 9, 2009 10:13 pm
Trade
(@Trade)
Expert

There's a big gay community in Puerto Rico & a decent number in St. Thomas who don't seem to run into problems.

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Posted : June 9, 2009 11:56 pm
saucey
(@saucey)
Advanced Member

Come on down! We are definitely an island of misfits, so you should "fit" in with us!

I'm not gay, or male, but have gay friends who seem to being doing just fine down here.

I'm single, attractive, and willing to date, but there just isn't a whole lot of that here available either.

I take my move as an opportunity to become a part of a community, and that seems to work very well. There are lots of people here who are just simply great, and I feel blessed to have the friendships in lieu of relationships.

WELCOME!

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Posted : June 10, 2009 1:16 am
Linda J
(@Linda_J)
Expert

In general, people who move down alone have more transition issues than couples.

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Posted : June 10, 2009 2:09 am
Betty
(@Betty)
Trusted Member

Not saying you're wrong because everyone has they're own experiences but I've seen plenty of couples break up over the move here. Some move down here with problems in their relationships and the islands can just make it worse because its not the easiest place to live, it makes some stronger. What I've seen the most of with couples is one loving it and the other hating it, which seems to make all of their problems bigger. Also finances which split up so many couples stateside can be a big problem here as well with the high cost of living and the lower wages.

Either way its hard but if you can afford it and have no kids I don't see why anyone shouldn't try it if they feel moved to do so. Keep the memories and loose the stuff and never dip into your retirement saving to do it though. 🙂

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Posted : June 10, 2009 3:35 am
Linda from Michigan
(@Linda_from_Michigan)
Trusted Member

If you think you'd like to try it - then do.

I came down on a 1 month visit and never used my return ticket. Within 2 weeks I found a job (Thanks Linda J!) and a place to live. From the moment the plane landed I knew this was for me.
BethBurnett70 and her partner stayed on as well.

Sure there are trials getting used to a new place. While beautiful and "paradise", there are many things to adjust to. Some are harder than others.

I would recommend reading back thru old posts (not just last month - but go back a ways) to see how people have adjusted or not. This site was a god send for me and I have great respect for many of the regulars that post here. Without them and their advice I would have had a real hard time.

And remember, no one says anything has to be forever. I'd give it a year. If you don't like it - or find it isn't working - make another decision.

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Posted : June 10, 2009 3:53 am
trw
 trw
(@trw)
Expert

in hindsight sometimes i would rather have moved to puerto rico for the gay life,music,bars restaurants culture and community,in minneapolis we were very active with gay pride our gay neighborhood association and politics,the same when i went to omaha for 10 months to visit the father but life is ok here just rather boring at times

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Posted : June 10, 2009 5:25 pm
guysmiles
(@guysmiles)
New Member

I really do love all of your input! I just had another phone interview - I admit the salary is much lower than what I make in the states and yet the cost of living is just a bit less expensive than LA west side. So we are in negotiations to boost it a bit. I've looked at the cost of living and having lived in Paris, San Francisco and now LA nothing really seems that shocking - the rents are lower than in LA, but it is unclear if everyone pays for water which seems expensive to me! LOL.

Thank you again - I'll keep checking the website. I may be visiting for an on-site interview in a week or so. That will offer me a first-hand view.

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Topic starter Posted : June 12, 2009 1:43 pm
Betty
(@Betty)
Trusted Member

He guy, I lived in orange county for many years and while it may seem like cost of living is lower here its not! What you get for your rent money here can be sad at times. There are so many hiden cost to living here and not the least of them is groceries and electric which are extremely high. Also things like there's no option to drive to go see family or friends so expect to spend $350 to $800 everytime you want to get off of stx. So boost if up as high as you can!

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Posted : June 12, 2009 2:00 pm
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