To STX - and back again

I am sure I will be taken to task by some for the following, but with the recent discussions on the board regarding crime and life in the VI, I’ll take my chance. Bash me if you will, this is only personal experience…perhaps best moved to the Moving Stories page. As you may have guessed, we have returned to the mainland for a variety of reasons, mostly personal – but I hope that someone out there is listening and will consider carefully what we have to say.

We had lived in rural Arkansas for about 5 years prior to making our move to STX. Came from living in Little Rock, a medium sized city, for 40 years before that. Very familiar with small-town life, grown kids, not feeling like we really needed a lot to get by or be happy. Both sun lovers, beachcombers, baby boomers looking for a place in the sun to live, work, and retire. My husband was offered a job in a white-collar profession on STX in May 2005. We did the prerequisite PMV, got held up at gunpoint, explored the island, did the shopping, looked at houses, blah, blah, blah…and thought it was all good. The “held up at gunpoint” wasn’t so great, but we decided that was a freak occurrence and marked it up to being stupid or something…and so we made our move. We landed with all of our worldly possessions and pets in tow and rented an apartment on the east end sight unseen from a very wonderful couple who helped us adjust to our new life. The rent was pricey compared to Arkansas, but we have dogs, so whatever. We’ll trade off cruises for rent and go on, right? And we did – and we made the best out of my husband’s new 45 minute commute to the west end of the island for his work, the lack of reliable electricity or phone or internet (and my work is internet-based) , a cistern that went dry frequently and caused us to have to use well water (which was horrible)…and we began looking for a homestead. From the time we did our PMV until we actually got serious about looking, the real estate market went through the roof on STX. Bummer, but we’ll cope.

I can’t put my finger on one thing that went wrong, just a series of little things…and there’s where the jam-up started. Some were island related, some were purely personal. The first thing we noticed is that after the initial rush of visitors, we were 2500 miles from the kids and relatives, some of whom were older and were in failing health – and there was NOTHING we could do to help other than make the obligatory phone call and say we were sorry. Frustrating for two people out to save the world. No way to have the kids for Sunday lunch, missing family reunions, being unable to fulfill what we felt were our responsibilities to our families – that was the first big kick in the pants.

We are both hard working people who came to the island with plenty of resources which promptly dwindled at an amazing rate. We no longer felt we had the ability or knowledge to buy an island home – all the talk you hear about sea air chewing up your stuff? It’s true, and it takes a toll on your house, your car, and everything you own. We replaced computers, t.v.’s and small appliances and kept Kmart in business single-handedly…and we plowed through some savings. We realized that not only could we not afford to buy a house, but we would never be able to retire on our investments and Social Security at the current highly inflated cost of living on St. Croix AND continue to make regular trips to the mainland. Hmmm.

My husband was under a great deal of pressure at work…people’s personal information is needed, and amazingly, many people didn’t know their date of birth or where they lived… “Estate Ruby” is a big area. In spite of the “slow pace” of the islands, almost everyone to a fault wanted instant gratification and he felt he was working in a pressure pit and not practicing his type of medicine like he has been taught, and as he enjoys. My husband is about the most patient, low-key person you could ever meet…and his frustration level was so high it was starting to affect his health. Although he was one of three professionals at the location where he worked, the work load was unbelievable and the pay nowhere commensurate with the mainland….in fact, it was roughly $40,000 per year less than what he is currently paid. That’s a lot of money, folks. And then little by little, we noticed other things which are mentioned in other recent posts…

That gallon of milk you paid $7 for on your PMV and laughed about? It’s $7 every day; just because you have a hankering for pizza doesn’t mean you’ll find pizza crust at the grocery store. You truly have to adjust your menu if you’re on a budget…which isn’t extremely hard, just extremely different. The electric bill? Unbelievable when we got there, but our utilities were included in our rent…when we moved, we became responsible for that – and in the meantime, WAPA’s calculators went insane and energy costs quadrupled. We ran 2 fans, a computer, and a little t.v. at night and got out for about $400/mo. Oh, yeah, I used the dryer a few times a week. My bad. The flip side was that we had water again! Going out to eat on a whim quit happening – we did find places that were reasonable, but to have a nice meal is going to set you back a little change. So we learned to cook conch and use local foods - and that was fun!

It is a small island and it seems most of the islanders are related – but you aren’t…you’re the outsider and you have to hustle a little harder to be accepted, and you have to stay around for a while (and “a while” isn’t a year, trust me). You’re lost and a little bewildered for a while – it ain’t the U.S., folks – and it takes a while to build up a support system. We were fortunate enough to make friends with a number of continentals and some islanders but it wasn’t super easy – and many of the friends we made on the island came off this board. But you aren’t a local and you don’t know all of the families and the history, and where to go and not go…and it seems everyone is privvy to this info but you and it takes a while to just get the basics.

After about 10 months my husband was at the breaking point and feeling like a robot – I stood in jeopardy of losing my job, which is internet based, because the internet was flighty and not reliable…as a side note, I must say for the upcharge that WAPA instituted, their service became more and more stable until the power outages just weren’t happening all that often, but the internet was all over the board. Our finances were shot since it takes a HUGE chunk of change to move to the islands (and don’t move all your stuff, you’ll be sorry…do like people tell you, put it all in storage, and then after a year or so if you’re still happy and have a place to call home, bring it down…you’ll see after being there for a few months that your treasures really aren’t made to live the island life unless money isn’t a problem and you can have year round AC). The long weekends at the beach were wonderful, when they happened – but life interfered to a large degree – you will still have to grocery shop, clean the house, go to the cleaners, and work…gotta say, though, the view any drive we had to make was spectacular…

I can cut an area out of Arkansas roughly the same area as STX, and it has roughly the same population…can I compare crime stats? Nope. Arkansas isn’t St. Croix. There is virtually no violent crime here, and little to no petty crime. Does crime exist here? Of course….the difference being that there is pretty immediate police response to even a speeding motorcycle (another side note – when we were held up on our PMV, we had to drive to the police station…we were told it was just “too far” for the patrolman to come out to Cane Bay at 9:30 at night – excuse me, but isn’t that what you do as a patrolman? Drive?) Wherever there are humans, there will be crime…but the educational system in the islands is terrible – the employment situation is terrible – the medical system is way below par - and wandering the streets of Frederiksted seems to be the closest some folks come to working or having a hobby. Would I go to Wal Mart right now, at 4:30 a.m., in Arkansas? Without thinking twice….Would I wander the streets of STX at the same time (if anything was open)? Not a chance. All I can attribute the difference in the crime stats to in my simple mind is that education here is quality, and there are tons of employment opportunities - if you're acting like a thug, it's because you've chosen to - you CAN find a job, and one that pays a decent wage. Although the per capita income in our area is roughly $16K per year, which is very low compared to the rest of the country, the cost of living is also very low - and a work ethic is highly prized. If you're working, you don't have time to act a fool.

There are many, many wonderful people in the islands – locals and transplants alike…but take a close look at your own comfort zone before you make the big move. In addition to looking at daily island life, look at your life NOW, pre-move….what is it that you do that you will truly miss when you are not stateside anymore? It could be those are the things that will bring you back in short order….we honestly didn’t realize how involved we were with our families until we could not reach out and touch them on a moment’s notice. Try depriving yourself for one month of the things you will not be able to have if you make the move...it's startling. The family thing is what tipped the scales for us – and remember, if someone falls ill back “home”, you may or may not be able to get on the few flights out every day…and that is a truly helpless feeling. Worse yet, if YOU fall seriously ill and have to leave the island, you're looking at a bank buster unless you have air ambulance insurance...with the potential of recurrence of my husband's Guillain-Barre, the odds were lousy for getting him to Florida in the right time frame even with air ambulance - a small fact we sort of chose to ignore when we moved - but after seeing the state of medical care, it hit us between the eyes that if he had a flare up, he most likely would leave the island in a pine box. Sobering thought. The hobbies that we loved became too expensive to indulge in since getting specialty items in is pricey, if your supplier will even ship to the islands.

So after a year, we folded…my husband was approached by a large chain about working back in the same little Arkansas town – his employer on the island got wind of it and made us the offer we couldn’t refuse – and we realized that our quality of life would simply be better back where we came from. That makes us part of a large contingent who, although they love the islands, find that they just don’t belong…it simply was not a good match for what we knew and were familiar with – and I know all of the arguments, that this island living is different and you have to adapt – but these two old dogs just couldn’t learn new tricks, I suppose.

Was it the experience of a lifetime? Yes – we got to live a dream that few others can. Would we do it again? Not on a bet. I’d just take that $25,000 or so that it took to move us back and forth and have one hell of a vacation every year for the next 10 years. Seems we are Arkansans through and through – and we had to go away to find that our comfort zone was in our own back yard. I don’t think we did this “right” or “wrong”, if there is such a thing – it simply wasn’t for us.

Please don’t misunderstand me – we loved the music and the culture and many things about living on St. Croix – but search your soul and figure out just how many Jump Ups it will take for you to burn out on them - decide whether your dream is just a dream, think about the impact on your families, both immediate and extended, and for Pete’s sake don’t jump in with both feet until you are sure what you are jumping into….on the other hand, maybe you can’t BE sure until you’re really there. But keep enough money somewhere to get back to the mainland – I can’t tell you how many people we met who spent everything they had to get there – even if they wanted to leave, it simply wasn’t much of an option if they wanted to do more than leave with a suitcase. It’s not always “what you make of it”, as so many posts on this board indicate – there is a bigger picture behind why anyone stays or leaves – don’t be brutal to those who discover they need to leave for whatever reason, be it financial, familial, or just the inability to do a changeover to a new culture…we love St. Croix and it will always be our vacation spot, but we couldn’t do our entire life there. It’s as simple – and as complex – as that.