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dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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blu, I think you explained it perfectly.(tu)

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Topic starter Posted : May 8, 2012 12:07 pm
Paula
(@paula)
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Wonderful story!! :@)

Paula

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Posted : May 9, 2012 3:23 am
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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Middle age parenting. What does that mean? What was I thinking after already raising 5 to adulthood? When I was a young mother we didn't have words like "play date". What the hell is a play date I asked my pediatrician when she said that I needed to socialize a 8 month old infant. Hydrate? Really? your face is red go get a drink. When I had my child in kindergarten here on St. Croix one of the teachers wanted to talk to me about two things. One was dietary concerns and the other my childs language. It seems that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with chips and cookies every day was not a good thing. The other was my son was saying damn to the other children. They were going home and telling their mothers and there had been some COMPLAINTS. The first turned out OK as the wonderful science teacher said that peanut butter and jelly was the PERFECT FOOD, (that is all he would eat at 5 years old). I explained that the word DAM was a thing that beavers build and that he had seen and heard it on one of the cartoon shows he watched. OMG, I let him watch TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIND DESTROYING TV!!!! Not only that he told a teacher that he had a Popsicle for breakfast. I have to admit that yes he did have a Popsicle WITH his breakfast. Hey, juice on a stick people. It was a juice stick. He also had coco puffs. We all need some chocolate and sugar to get us going in the mornings. Next on the big you are a horrible mother list was he did not have a pillow and blanket for nap time. Again, REALLY? I have just fed him sugar and chocolate and you want him to take a nap? First of all he does not nap in the morning and hasn't since he was 12 months old. You are making him lay down and go to sleep and as soon as he nods off you wake him right back up with your bright and cheery voice saying it's time to learn. Five year old boys do not care about the alphabet. They want to swing from trees like monkeys. Then they move on to farting, burping, wrestling, and trying to gross out all the girls. When I was growing up men fought wars, supported families and we let them be MEN. Now I think we might be making them a little gender confused. Just my opinion.

Now my boy is 8. Sigh, heavy sigh. I was teaching him today about cells. Cell membranes, cytoplasm, nucleus. I even made a gross concoction that he would enjoy to demonstrate cells. He's a very well behaved kid so he tried to listen and even at one point told me that he was trying to please me. We moved on to language arts, verbs, adverbs, nouns, adjectives, and a book that he really loves but I could not keep his attention. All he could think about was the beach and his best friend A. She shall remain nameless but they are two peas in a pod. I relented and we had a "play date" with A. Those two climb cliffs together, snorkel, catch fish and hermit crabs, never fight and love each other to death. best friends forever or as JJ calls it BFFs.

Back to being a middle aged parent. One time I picked JJ up from kindergarten and he pitched a royal fit. I think todays mommies call that a "meltdown". He wanted to stay and play. I told him 5 more minutes. After 5 minutes he decided to pitch another royal fit. I told him to stop and he kicked the sand. Can you believe that? He was stomping his feet and kicking the sand all over everyone. I grabbed his little arm and then swatted his little butt. Guess what? The "meltdown" stopped immediately. Guess what else? Every parent there picking up their children had a "meltdown" because I swatted my child. I laughed all the way home over that one. The next morning JJs wonderful teacher spoke to me about what I did and i told her that I had never spanked JJ in his whole life and that little swat on his backside embarrassed him but didn't hurt him and I would probably never have to do that again. Three years later, I have never swatted him again. Now I thump him on the head.

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Topic starter Posted : May 11, 2012 4:43 am
speee1dy
(@speee1dy)
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i see nothing wrong with a little spanking.

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Posted : May 11, 2012 7:11 pm
OldTart
(@the-oldtart)
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Tami, thanks for a wonderful guffawing laugh session! I loved it all but reading about JJ's temper tantrum for some reason transported me back donkey's years and to a story my mother related when I was just a very young child.

She had an interview scheduled with a titled lady (this was in England) seeking a housekeeper. Mother dutifully showed up on schedule and, as she rang the doorbell, heard loud screams coming from inside the mansion. When nobody came to the door, she rang the bell again and the screams got even louder. The door was finally opened by the lady of the house. Immaculately dressed to the nines, the lady ushered in my mother and, as they passed a screaming little meanie laying on the floor of the foyer thrashing away, she deftly side-stepped him and without batting an eyelid said, "Oh, Mrs C. just follow me and pay no attention to THAT. Best to ignore him and then he'll get bored and stop."

Thanks for the memory! 😀

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Posted : May 11, 2012 8:05 pm
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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So, I'm back in the states. Two daughters got married. We survived that. Next daughter pregnant. Happy always for another wonderful grandchild but I'll just say she is hormonal. Obamacare, sorry not to offend, affordable health care passed. The sea level is rising in Virginia. Yes, it picked Virginia, because of global warming. I have 3 businesses here in the states, all under one roof at present and it resembles a very bad trashy reality show even though 2 of them of world wide businesses, (All of my employees are young adults), (major drama). It doesn't help that 4 of my 6 children are employees. JJ, AKA Joey, as he now calls himself, is losing his mind because he is not on HIS island, (St. Croix). Even though he adores Katy Perry. Don't know if I spelled her name right but the song "Friday Night" is his favorite where she sings about getting drunk, skinny dipping in the park and all that fun stuff, (he gives me side glances as he sings the lyrics because some of them are bad words), I just ignore it when he says DAMN, while singing to his other favorite singer, forgot her name but all she should be drinking is a beer. He is not quite sure how to interact with these COOL kids here or how to fit in. He asked me what skinny dipping was and I told him swimming with no clothes but it was against the law in the states and how lucky he was that he and his friends can swim naked anytime they want on the island. Something our island kids just take for granted. Yesterday a group, (a gang) of kids were down at the end of the street by our house fishing and they were yelling F you to each other. I yelled out, Do you eat with that mouth a hole. JJ aka Joey totally freaked out and pretended that he had no clue who I was. When I marched down to find out where they lived so I could tell their mamas about their nasty mouths he ran in the house. Such is life in the states.

Today I went to work and told all employees about office edicate. I am super easy as long as customers, (governments of other countries) are happy. Wear what you want. I will ignore all the texting and the time you spend on my computers looking at your facebook. It is actually quite entertaining when I am bored to look at all the stupid things you share with the world via facebook during working hours totally knowing that I can see all things that you are doing on my own computer. You have great vacation, sick leave, medical ect. No obamacare doesn't matter cause I pay 100% of your insurance you silly people. In any case they are terribly spoiled. I know, you all want to work for me.

Soooooo! Tired of the drama, crazy girlfriends, meltdowns, hangovers and so on so I just tell them I am going to lock the doors. I don't need them, attitudes, crybabies, whatever. Told Hubby, I'm done. Pitch me a tent on the beach. They all got real quiet.

Today was my moms birthday. I miss her. The person who loved me unconditionally no matter what I did. She passed last November. I miss her. Last night JJ aka Joey came downstairs at 11:30pm and asked was I coming to bed. I told him I was waiting to wish mom happy birthday. He asked me did she answer when I talked to her and I told him not yet. He asked me if I thought she was in heaven with god and I said I don't know. He asked me that when I died would I visit him and I told him that if it was possible I would visit him as fast as I could.

Such is life.

I miss Trade and Lizard. You cannot judge both of those wonderful people by their posts on this message board. Tart and Blu need to knock it off. Be respectful people. It just isn't that hard. Ms. Swans is JJs hero and stxem but he only knows you as great sea turtle scientist. Paula, I hope you and your family are well. I think of you often. Tell your Dad it was a St. Croix kind of day. Sending you hugs.

Tam

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Topic starter Posted : June 29, 2012 3:27 am
Paula
(@paula)
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Thank you Tammy-- sent you a pm. Hang in there!

Paula

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Posted : June 29, 2012 7:00 pm
lily1025
(@lily1025)
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loved your post tammy! my husband and i always use the expression "a stx kind of a day" i had the pleasure of meeting you,doug and jj aka joey,over my truck fiasco:-) when you return HOME i have a book for jj aka joey:@)

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Posted : July 3, 2012 9:04 pm
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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Thanks lily1025. JJ also has a very nice thank you note for you. He wrote it after we went to undercover books and he used his gift certificate but I dropped the ball and we never got it to you. Hopefully we will be home soon and we can have a cook out together. Best to you and hubby. Have a great 4th of July!

Tammy

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Topic starter Posted : July 3, 2012 9:41 pm
lily1025
(@lily1025)
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thanks tammy! happy 4th to your family also!!! we would love to get together when you return. tell doug and jj aka joey i'll "BRING THE SPITBALLS FOR THE LIZZARDS";)

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Posted : July 4, 2012 3:05 am
usvichic
(@usvichic)
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Oh Tammy, hang in there. We all love you and A misses her J. In fact, she was a big bore at the beach yesterday because she didn't know when J was going to be back. I hope that some day those two figure out they can be separate and still ok some day. We have all these plans for when you get back, so hurry home 🙂 C misses Dunc and Tammy and so do I.

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Posted : July 9, 2012 5:49 pm
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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usvichic, we are missing you guys too. A and J are peas and carrots, they just go together. I have to quit complaining. I really do love Virginia but I really miss St. Croix. I imagine many transplanted statesiders in the VI feel the same. After a while on St. Croix I became firmly intrenched and could happily live there forever.

My house in Virginia is just down the creek, as we call it, from Little Creek Amphibious Base which joins Fort Story Army Base. They now call it The joint expiditionary something or other but to me they are still just the navy base and the army base. What is most important is that base or fort, they are both filled with awesome men in uniform. Yep. Just makes my heart go all a flutter. It has been that way since I was a very young girl. It doesn't even have to be a military man. Fireman and Policeman even park rangers are fine as well. Thank God my Navy diver snapped me up before I could get myself in trouble.

Every morning while I am here I wake up to reville then the National Anthem and when 8pm rolls around I hear the sweet sound of taps. Aways brings a tear to my eye.

Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well, safely rest
God is nigh.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar, drawing near
Falls the night.
Thanks and praise for our days
Neath the sun, neath the stars, neath the sky
As we go, this we know
God is nigh.

I try to always be out on the porch so I can hear it and look down the creek at the big grey ships to say goodnight and thanks to them all.
Just a day or two before my mom passed I opened her balcony door so she could hear the playing of taps. She just smiled and held my hand. It was one of her favorite things. I'm glad it gave her comfort.

Have a great night everyone!

Tam

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Topic starter Posted : July 10, 2012 3:08 am
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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Virgin Islands today. This is an interesting place. Very different from any other place I have ever lived. My experiences here have been very good, very bad and everything in between. This week was trying for me. I completely lost my mind and had a screaming hissy fit. That is southern girl for a temper tantrum. What set me over the edge? FREAKING MOSQUITOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate them!!!!!!

We have an unusual house. It is 4 wings built around a courtyard with a pool in the middle. It is completely open to the outside. The wings have french doors opening into the courtyard with the pool and they have no screens. We have no AC except in one bedroom so we keep all the interior doors open to get the breeze from the open courtyard. It is beautiful and awesome to sit at night in the middle of your house and be able to look up at the stars, swim in your pool with total privacy, and even grill inside your house. I love it. There are drawbacks however.

All the outside creatures have open 24 hour a day access to my house. Often egrets, herons, bats and all sorts of birds fly right in. Lizards live in my house and my son has made pets of them. We have 3 salt water aquariums, a terrarium and a tank with tadpoles growing little legs at this writing. Hermit crabs live in my house and sometimes I find them in my bed. They are pets as well and have names. My son provides them new shells, food and water and he lovingly sprays them with a water bottle each day to moisten their little gills.

Then there are the insects. Bees, wasps, MOSQUITOES, and beetles and those ugly evil creatures, the centipedes!!!!! We finally got rid of those. For the last 7 years we have been "camping" on St. Croix. It took a while but I finally got used to it except for this week. MOSQUITOES!!!!! Did I mention that I "HATE" them?

I don't know if there are suddenly MORE mosquitos on St. Croix or if they have decided that I am their feasting place. They are feasting on me. Is is suddenly HOTTER on St. Croix or have my HOT FLASHES gotten worse this week. The combination of the two has driven me insane.

I homeschool my son. We have a large wonderful room to work in. I love our room. No AC but fans constant air flow. We play music while we work. We laugh, play and learn. So much fun. This week our beautiful room turned into a hot sauna full of mosquitoes. Miserable, sticky, sweaty misery.

Yesterday around 9:30am I am leaning over my son teaching him math sweat rolls of my nose onto his paper and he proceeds to tell me how gross that is while I am frantically swatting those FREAKING MOSQUITOES that are feasting on my blood I lost my mind.

I just start yelling, " I hate this place, I hate the dust, the bugs, the creatures in my house, the heat, the dirt, the crime, the lack of AC, and if one more MOSQUITO bites me I am going to kill somebody. I want to go back to Virginia, I want to wear a sweater, I want to have a blanket on my bed, I want to wear blue jeans and boots", and on and on I go.

Both hubby and son disappear. Son to bedroom and hubby out the door and takes off in his truck and I am a sobbing, sweating, mosquito bitten mess as I spray my body with my favorite perfume, DEET.

Hubby is at Home Depot buying screens for all the french doors and looking at a 3 ton AC unit for the front wing. Son is frantically trying to pick up all hubbys tools and clean the furniture of dust and making sure that none of his "pets" are loose in the house.

At this moment I am sitting in my fully screened "school room" with no mosquitoes, still no AC, I vetoed that so I could keep my windows open and thinking how blessed I am for having hubby and son who both love me so much that they worked hard to make me happy.

The "real reason" however is that they love St. Croix so much that they could not bear the thought of leaving. Happy wife, happy life. LOL!!!

My week in paradise.

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Topic starter Posted : September 26, 2012 12:03 am
JahRustyFerrari
(@jahrustyferrari)
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I'll take the mosquitoes over a massive sinkhole that swallows my backyard 😀

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/sinkhole-opens-up-in-virginia-video/2011/09/19/gIQAOmLnfK_blog.html

"At present, the sinkhole is more than 12 feet deep and has swallowed two backyards. While the Stafford County fire marshall has evacuated families from the two houses and fenced in the gaping hole, neighbors say it is only getting bigger. Officials say it may swallow the two adjacent homes next. Watch video of the sinkhole from Channel 9 below: "

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Posted : September 26, 2012 12:46 am
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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JahRustyFerrari, I thought about you as I typed this post. I thought to myself, I am one of those "spoiled white statesiders who could not "handle living in the USVI. Then I thought to myself, you are strong, self sustaining, usually non whining person who had a bad day out of your "normal" environment". No reflection on the VI. I adapt, overcome and survive. A weak moment. Yes, I will take "mosquitoes" over losing my land to a sink hole every day.

Breaking News: Son just ran through new screens destroying them. Hours of work by hubby building a threshold and installing the screen ruined in seconds. Son, so sorry, hubby so sad, me, just another day in paradise.

Moral of story: If one is not used to screens then screen will not work. Giggle. Take down the ugly screens and we will continue to use deet as perfume and a jolt racket as our number 1 defense. Life goes on in paradise.

JahRustyFerrari, Life goes on. It's going to be ok. You may not be a part of it but life will go on. At least the insects will. Those nasty mosquitoes will for sure.

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Topic starter Posted : September 26, 2012 1:10 am
JahRustyFerrari
(@jahrustyferrari)
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Yup...life goes on, in spite of LEAC et al...

We used to have a skeeter problem until my wife (who moved here from New York City 20 years ago and never went back) bought a big, honking, outdoor bug zapper and parked it in our bedroom. 😮

I fall asleep each night to the sounds of skeeters frying...hehehehehe

...makes a great nightlight too...

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Posted : September 26, 2012 1:35 pm
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!

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Topic starter Posted : September 26, 2012 2:08 pm
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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Big thanks to lily1025 for bringing me a wonderful care package today. A bottle of wine, non deet mosquito spray, a citronella candle, an ice pop, and an battery operated fan with a spray bottle. She spent time with JJ looking at all his fish tanks, tadpoles and his mid evil castle project for history. I'm relaxed, happy, sipping my wine, while misting myself with the spray bottle. Citronella candle is burning. Hubby repaired the screen. No mosquitoes feasting on me tonight. Thanks lily.

Another day in paradise!

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Topic starter Posted : September 27, 2012 12:03 am
Paula
(@paula)
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Just catching up on the never ending--always entertaining--story of your life on St Croix, Tam--- still wiping tears from my eyes from laughter!! Thank you for that!
It sounds like you're coping just fine now, a glass a wine, a candle burning, screens keeping bloodsucking critters out--- paradise again!

Enjoy:@)

Paula

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Posted : September 27, 2012 3:16 am
lily1025
(@lily1025)
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yes tami, yesterday was another "stx kinda day"visiting with you and your terrific family, who happen to live right around the corner from me! j.j. is just awsome. i want to watch the tadpoles grow and especially see the castle when in is finished. next time i'll bring an even bigger botttle of wine and we can drink it together;) ps i only got i misquito bite!!:-) i did have to laugh when the poor puppy almost ran thru the screens too,its not just j.j.!oh and don't forget my invitation on the trampoline,just make sure you have the rescue squad ready.

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Posted : September 27, 2012 8:23 pm
lily1025
(@lily1025)
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oops that should read 1 mosquito bite. sorry

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Posted : September 27, 2012 8:25 pm
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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Hi Paula! How are you? I know you have family obligations but if you feel like getting away you can stay at my house. We can have lily over, watch tadpoles grow legs, swat mosquitoes with the jolt, jump on the trampoline and sip some wine. Not at the same time of course.

Lily both the dog and cat are hating the screen. They run right into it. Over and over. JJ worked on the castle for hours today without his dad. It's looking good. It kinda turns my stomach watching him use a razor knife to cut stuff. Every time he says darn or oh no! I think he has cut a finger off.

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Topic starter Posted : September 28, 2012 2:18 am
Paula
(@paula)
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Ohhh Tami-- that sounds so tempting! You'd better be careful throwing out invites like that to desperate people like me, you'll have a house full!
Daddy passed away on Aug 3. He had one day a few days before that where he recognized me and mom, then a few days later ...gone. I'm dealing with several legal issues for my mother. A get away to St Croix has been mentioned between my husband and me quite often--this year has been rough. He's retiring next month and we're seriously hoping to spend several months on St Croix each year for as long as we're able. 😀

Paula

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Posted : September 28, 2012 2:57 am
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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Paula, my door is open. Honestly JJ and I are alone in this house 70% of the time we would love the company. I'm so sorry about your Dad. I hope he passed on a "St. Croix kind of day". That's my favorite saying now thanks to your Dad. Take care. I will PM you my email.

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Topic starter Posted : September 28, 2012 3:27 am
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
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Today in Paradise. JJ and I dropped hubby off at the airport then to k mart and the craft store to get supplies for a school project. On the way home we had not one but 3 encounters with a crazy guy on a bicycle. We almost hit him twice and as hard as I slammed on my brakes I don't know how we avoided the airbags going off. I looked at JJ and said, " there is some odd goings on here on St. Croix today and we need to get home. We had a bit of a delay when a car stopped at an intersection and let a lady out and then proceeded to have a conversation for about 5 minutes while all traffic was stopped. We stopped at a gas station to get some milk on the way home and when I went inside some guy grabbed me hugging and kissing me telling me how much he missed me and how long it had been since he had seen me and how great I looked. Trying desperately to push him and away and asking in a loud voice, " who are you", he and his friend are dying laughing and I am so freaked out so I just left the store. We got home and JJ sees an iguana in the yard and wants to go play with it. I ask him to help me with the packages first. He helps me then goes outside to see the iguana. He comes back in a few minutes later telling me the iguana is terrible injured and I need to save him. I go outside to look and the poor creature has been terribly injured to its face. One eye missing, teeth hanging out and blood everywhere. So sad. JJ is telling him, "just hang on little fella, my mom will help you". Heavy sigh.

I went to get our guy who lives in our cottage and got him to come and look. I asked him should we put him in the bush. He was mortally wounded. He told me no just leave him or we can eat him. I struggled not to lose the contents of my stomach and explained that we had plenty of food in the house and while I know people eat iguana we don't eat wild animals unless we need to to survive. I took J inside and told him we would give the iguana a little time to see if he would go off on his own and that I couldn't save him. We would check on him later.

I made J dinner and while he was eating I went outside with my gloves and shovel and moved the now very dead iguana that something had been feasting on, far into the bush and finally lost the contents of my stomach. Tomorrow I will tell him that the iguana crawled away.

Our day in paradise. I know I'm a sap but this day made me weep.

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Topic starter Posted : October 2, 2012 12:49 am
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