Amusing Tourist Rem...
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Amusing Tourist Remark

Posts: 1866
Noble Member
Topic starter

Hi everyone.

We recently had visitors from the states who are in their seventies. On our way to the grocery store they saw a Terrence Nelson "Positive Is How I Live" bumper sticker and one of them asked me, "Why do so many islanders drive around with bumper stickers announcing their HIV status?"

Anyone else have an amusing tourist remark?

Posted : June 24, 2006 10:45 pm
Posts: 859
Prominent Member

That's a great one, loved it! There are so many! How about the one about the tourist who wanted to know how much closer STT would get to PR and at what time of the year?

Years ago I used to take my dog, Bess, to Morningstar Beach in the early evening after work. This was way before all the beachfront villas were built.

We'd gone for a swim and were walking along the beach to dry off when a middle-aged foursome, obviously newly arrived and staying at Frenchman's Reef came walking towards us. The two large gentlemen were decked out with big straw hats, loud floral shirts, plaid shorts, white socks and black sandals with cameras dangling around their necks. Their equally large wives were bedecked in polyester frou-frou.

As we approached each other I nodded and said, "Good Evening." They completely ignored me but the minute they passed me, one of the wives said to her husband, "Aw Honey, LOOK! They have DAWGS here!"

I had to give credit to Bess. She looked up at me, I looked down at her, not a word was spoken but she walked over to a piece of driftwood, squatted over it and took a long whazz. My sentiments exactly!

Thanks for making me chuckle (and I think you've opened up a can of worms here!)

Posted : June 25, 2006 2:31 am
Posts: 30
Eminent Member

One thing I would like to add: When I was returning home to STT after a visit to the states, I was riding in a taxi with several other tourists. One of the tourists looked around at the scenery and remarked: "Man, these hills must really be hell to get up in the winter when the roads are icy." The driver almost had to stop the cab to prevent an accident because he was laughing so hard!

Posted : June 25, 2006 5:59 pm
Posts: 126
Estimable Member

how many of you are sick of hearing people ask the question....
I say, "on a plane"....:)

Posted : June 25, 2006 6:19 pm
Posts: 463
Reputable Member

This is a fun thread -- good idea dntw8up!

These are all entertaining posts, but STT Mike, yours really takes the cake.

That is absolutely HILARIOUS!!!

Thanks for the laugh 🙂 🙂 :)! Mell

Posted : June 25, 2006 6:31 pm
Posts: 0
New Member

"There is no crime or poverty in St Thomas. I stopped there once while I was on a cruise vacation."

Posted : June 25, 2006 8:43 pm
Posts: 0
New Member

No lie i had a tourist ask me a few weeks ago, How come they don't bulldoze all these hills down, and make it nice and flat like back home. Maybe she was from kansas.

I deal with 30 -40 people a day working on the boat. At least 4-5 times a day someone ask me if i live here. I am a wise guy, so i tell them i comute daily from N.Y.

Some one asked a friend of mine if the sky tram was the ski slope in the winter.

Posted : June 25, 2006 9:17 pm
Posts: 2259
Noble Member

here's some taken form Woodys' Web site:

"Do the islands go all the way to the bottom?"

No. they float around the Caribbean. There is a beacon on St. Thomas so the airlines know where to find us and the three islands are chained together. We think the BVI's chained themselves to St. John cause they're always real close.

"Why do all the boats in the harbor point the same way?"

It's a rule. They assign one boat each month to be the "lead". All the other boats have to adjust to whichever way the lead boat points. Sometimes it's more than one direction in a day.

"Can you swim under the island?"

Yes I can. I sincerely doubt that you can however

"How far away is the beach?"


"Why is the water different colors?"

It's the different temperatures, the water closest to the island is turquoise, a little farther away is light blue and cooler, and the coolest and farthest is deep blue.

"So, you live here?"

No, I fly in from Detroit every day.

"Which beach is closest to the water?"
You have got to be @%*&#!!! KIDDING ME!!!

"If you don't have a fireplace or central heat/air in your house, how do you keep it heated in the winter time?"
It's called solar heating, silly.


Others I have heard:
What kind of money do you use here?
What language do you speak here?
You really live here?
We are from Indiana, that's in the USA! or
I am calling from California!(wow!)

Posted : June 26, 2006 12:29 am
Posts: 384
Reputable Member


A little off topic....I travel to New Mexico often...occasionally I'm asked if I need a passport to go there.

Also, "how do the islands keep from bumping into each other during a hurricane"?


Posted : June 26, 2006 12:45 am
Posts: 69
Trusted Member

From a cruise ship passenger visiting Trunk Bay during a snorkeling excursion, "Can I take a taxi back?".......I hope so.

Posted : June 26, 2006 4:30 am
Posts: 713
Honorable Member

Not a tourist remark, but just an amusement from dealing with credit card companies stateside when we were moving - my husband got into a rather heated discussion with what was apparently a 12-year-old customer representative who simply refused to believe that the V.I. was part of the United States - her answer was "well, no one told me, and we get updates every day"...he gave her a quick history lesson from 1917 to present, but it still didn't fly. Ended up hanging up and calling back and talking to another rep, who needed to know what currency we used so they could do a conversion on our AmEx account (beads and shells, what else?)...

From a visitor to our home - "wow, that's great - ya'll can speak the language without an interpreter!"...Southern drawls and Crucian don't go well together....

The flip side is whenever a local asks where we are from and we say Arkansas, all we hear is "ahhhhhh.....Bill Clinton".....buncha Clinton-lovers here. They have no idea where Arkansas is, but it must be a pretty great place if it produced Bill. Funny, no one says "ahhhhh....HILLARY"......

Posted : June 26, 2006 8:59 am
Posts: 2
New Member

That's only because Hillary had her Cubans deported and Bill got caught using his in the the Oval Office. Did I say that out loud? I'm hear all week, folks.

Posted : June 26, 2006 9:46 am
Posts: 2259
Noble Member

When I was in college, my room mate asked me if we had movie theaters down here. I told him no, we can't make a grass hut big enough. He believed me!


Posted : June 26, 2006 11:45 am
Posts: 89
Trusted Member

I've heard "where can I buy a bottle of that beautiful tourquoise water?" - honest. If I ever relocated I swear I would stock that in a souvenir shop. Now don't anybody steal my idea!

On a more serious note, when I visited in 1991 (first tourist season after Hugo) I ended up talking with some soldiers from the National Guard in Georgia who were still there assisting. They said that when they first arrived they thought there must be "seasons" because there were no leaves. It was a bit later when they realized it was due to the massive defloiation courtesy of the hurricane.

Posted : June 26, 2006 1:57 pm
Posts: 582
Honorable Member

Well, ever since arriving with my 10 week old puppies not a day goes by without someone stopping me while I am walking them and saying " cute, do you live here ?" not sure how many other tourists take their 10 week old puppies on vacation to the Caribbean with them but by the sounds of it it must be a very popular thing to do 🙂

Posted : June 26, 2006 2:17 pm
Posts: 0
New Member

"What time does the 6 o'clock ferry leave"?

Posted : June 27, 2006 3:02 pm
Posts: 0
New Member

Where can I find a cheap taxi??

Posted : June 27, 2006 7:34 pm
Posts: 312
Reputable Member

Is this the island where Bob Marley is from?

Is there a bridge you can take to Puerto Rico?

Posted : June 27, 2006 7:38 pm
Posts: 298
Reputable Member

A couple of tourists in a rental car are driving around the Annally Farms area and they stop when a huge Senepol is crossing the street in front of them. Old man Lawaetz is guiding the Senepol. One tourist hollers "Do you know what time it is?"

Old man Lawaetz stops the Senepol, reaches under and grabs the udders, and says to the tourist "It is 3:00 o'clock."

The tourist is amazed...he insists that Old man Lawaetz teach him this trick.

Lawaetz says "OK, come on over here..." the tourist comes over.

"Now kneel down, reach over, and grab the udders."

The tourist does as he's told.

Old man Lawaetz says "Now move them over to the right.."

The tourist complies.

Old man Lawaetz says "Now...see the clock on the old church over there??"


Posted : June 28, 2006 12:49 pm
Posts: 224
Estimable Member

Questions I Get from back in the states.

Do you get the news there?
Dear Melody, HOW IS EVERYTHING IN Jamaica
How often will you be coming home?
OH my God, is that expensive to get to the VI?
What country is the USVI?

Posted : June 28, 2006 7:17 pm
Posts: 2552
Famed Member

Remarks from friends back here in the states when they found out we bought a place in STX.
Where is that?
What language do they speak?
Why are they U.S. citizens?
What do you mean they drive on the wrong side of the road!
Can you fly there?
What currency do they use?
Can you use U.S. dollars?
Do they have TV?
Do you really own the land, since it's a foreign country?
What government do they have?
Can you drive there?
Do they have cars there?

And they don't believe it when I tell them gas is about $.40 to $.50 cents per gallon cheaper.

Posted : June 28, 2006 11:30 pm
Marty on STT
Posts: 1779
Noble Member

My favorite was when my wife was coming off of one of the cruise ships and some visitors were getting back on, and while they stood in line, Tiffany overheard them complaining about how rude our taxi drivers are. One of the ladies said, "I can't believe it! Every single one of them called me a 'bag of sh*t!'". And, of course, the others in her party agreed with her and lambasted our little slice of heaven and claimed they would never return due to being so mistreated by the cab drivers. My wife could hardly keep a straight face as she informed them that the taxiis weren't calling her a 'bag of sh*t', but were merely offereing their services "BACK TO THE SHIP!" haha! I kid you not! This lady really thought everyone was calling her a bag of sh*t! Haha! Waaaa-Haaaaaa-Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh, my sides! haha!

Posted : July 1, 2006 1:35 am
Posts: 684
Honorable Member

Before I moved here my friend showed me pictures from her cruise. On STT she had pictures of the K-mart sign, just so she could show friends back home that STT has a K-mart. I couldn't even comment,

I work on the WICO dock so I have heard a lot that just makes me crazy. The best or worst one I hear is "Where is someplace on island we can go that isn't a tourist spot?" I wish I could tell them to go to Bovoni where rubber tires grow from the ground, but it wouldn't be right. 🙂


Posted : July 2, 2006 3:13 am
Posts: 859
Prominent Member

How about the bridge to nowhere in Nadir? I remain amazed that some young entrepreneur hasn't set up a localfood/booze foodmobile on this site...

Posted : July 2, 2006 3:20 am
Posts: 2
New Member

I overhear this at my office in 2001:

Continenetal(on speaker phone): We can send you our information on a something called a "CD". Have you ever heard of "CD technology"?

My coworker: Yes, I know what a CD is...

Continental: Really?(not sounding convinced) A CD is a really small disc that you can stick in your computer and it contains data...

My coworker: Right...

Continental: I not really sure you have this type of technology in the islands. It requires a computer. Are you sure you know what I am talking about?

My coworker ( bit perturbed by now): OH! A CD! Well of course!!! Yes, we DO have Coconut Daquiries in the islands! Duh!!! What's a computer?

Posted : July 6, 2006 11:08 pm
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