Hope this brings so...
 
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Hope this brings some laughter

 
53jmoon
(@53jmoon)
Advanced Member

This was sent to me by one of my friend and I thought I would share it with people on this board.
Hope this brings laughter as you read them.
Hope I posted this on the right section?
Enjoy,
53jmoon
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Children Writing About the Ocean..Hysterical!

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Michael, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom , and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

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Topic starter Posted : August 6, 2009 7:04 pm
marlene
(@marlene)
Advanced Member

Just had a good laugh through the office on this. Thanks

ReplyQuote
Posted : August 6, 2009 7:15 pm
53jmoon
(@53jmoon)
Advanced Member

Marlene;
You are welcome!
Am glad to know that I wasn't the only one who laughed my head off this afternoon.
Thank you for taking the time out to post.
53jmoon

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Topic starter Posted : August 7, 2009 3:29 am
jerrydcs
(@jerrydcs)
Advanced Member

great post we need more laughter

itis as they say the best medicine

jerry

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Posted : August 7, 2009 3:34 am
East Ender
(@east-ender)
Expert

"If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent"

Someone call Tourism! This is a great tag line for the next ad campaign!! :@)

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Posted : August 7, 2009 12:22 pm
Jules
(@Jules)
Trusted Member

Here's a funny bit about Gilligan's Island. Given the recent flood of theological debate on this site, I thought you might be amused.

Is Gilligan the Devil?

Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called "Gilligan's Island". There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct representation of Hell.

Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:

Ginger represents LUST - she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac.

Mary Ann represents ENVY - she is jealous of Ginger's beauty.

The Professor represents PRIDE - he is an annoying know-it-all.

Mr. Howell represents GREED - no explanation needed.

Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH - she has never lifted a finger to help on any of their escape plans.

The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY - again, no explanation needed and ANGER - he violently hits Gilligan on each show.

This leaves Gilligan. Gilligan is the person who put them there. He prevents them from leaving by foiling all of their escape plots. Also, it is HIS island. Therefore, Gilligan is SATAN.

Crazy? He does wear red in every episode.

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Posted : August 9, 2009 3:07 pm
Jules
(@Jules)
Trusted Member

...another religious joke

GOD TAKES A HOLIDAY

God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"

St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."

God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."

"Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"

"No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"

"I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"

Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"

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Posted : August 9, 2009 3:17 pm
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