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On island for a year. --- What now?  

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eiplanner
(@eiplanner)
Advanced Member

O.K. so hypothetically I have been on island for a year; made my move, found a place to rent, gained employment, learned to drive again, accepted the pace, and settled in with the bugs. What happens now?

I'm very curious as to what the longer term realities are because I feel, through reading, that this is more why people end up leaving than the initial culture shock. I think the single largest mistake that we paradise seekers make (and please correct me if I am wrong) is to not consider what happens after the initial to-do list is complete, the island has been explored, and the hum drum routine sets in, This isolation and boredom aspect seems to be hugely underestimated. Even anticipating that the boredom will come cannot prepare a person. It's the most unpredictable variable in the happiness equation. There's no other way to find out but to actually live it. What's hilarious is that: times can be so trying that people are actually measured by their ability to tollerate them. This is where the pride comes in for those that have been on island the longest. Its as if their strong will and reliable coping skills somehow make them the winners. (Please don't take offense because none is intended, It's just an observation that tends to come out of all the stories and replies I've read on here) It's just human nature and it's that way no matter where you are. Veteran always trumps novice. However; I don't feel it is reason enough to keep old islanders from associating with new islanders. That's one of the things I've read over and over and cannot understand. What makes one person's dream of making a new life in paradise and different than any other's?

Now I've gone off topic and haven't gotten to what I was looking for in the first place. All responses and opinions on any of that would still be greatly appreciated but what I'm really after is the "What do you do after settled in?" question. Do you associate with a lot of other people? (dinners, get togethers, cook-outs and that sort of thing) Do you rely only on a couple really close friends? Do you save up for vacations elsewhere? Do you travel back to your homeland often? Are you active in the community? Are there many community activities? I basically would like to know what it is that you do to shun the boredom bug that keeps you happy enough to stay and feel like you don't ever want to move because, quite frankly, it's the nothing to do here boredom bug that currently makes me not want to stay in Oklahoma. I feel as though I could be bored in a lot better places than here. I am outdoorsy by nature and we have no mountains, no beaches, no good lakes, or any of the things I enjoy. I like things like fishing, hunting, skiing, scuba diving, boating, jet skiing, bike riding, camping and almost anything outdoors.

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Posted : February 21, 2012 4:12 pm
speee1dy
(@speee1dy)
Expert

i am very bored and there just does not seem to be enough to do. i dont dive and cannot get my ears wet so i am limited in ceetain aspects of what i can and can not do. the fact that you just can'dt drive off is a biggie too. and of course the family being so far away and expensive to go see. i go stir crazy here. i know i am not alone in this.

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Posted : February 21, 2012 4:34 pm
Neil
 Neil
(@Neil)
Trusted Member

Part of the answer is you DON'T know until you know. Everybody's situation is a little different.
Your itches and needs will change, ...and the island may no longer be able to scratch that itch, or meet your needs, and you just can't move out into the country or across the state to change up a few things.

More specifically, money is the biggest factor.

In my experience on island, higher expenses start to wear on you, like the added expense of trying to get to the mainland to see your family. It gets harder to justify after you've shelled out for couple of years. If you have grown kids or grandkids that you miss, this can become a huge problem. Some of the long-timers here either have the means to travel when they want, or some don't have close relationships with their family, and that makes it all easier.

A lot depends on what you do for a living on-island. In the first year or two, most willing to put up with less than perfect jobs, pay and benefits, and the island-style of working. But after a while, those "lack there of's" can wear on you.

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Posted : February 21, 2012 4:44 pm
HappyFace
(@HappyFace)
Advanced Member

It appears by your statements that you are an outdoor type activist, you should have a lot of fun on the islands. The following is my opinion; I think a lot has to do with the age, size of family and family members. The one size fits all doesn't really apply to relocation anywhere. There is a wide variety of age difference and expectations. Snow Birds want sun, warm weather, beautiful beaches and a good book (TV) etc. Younger people want to party and have fun. Some are looking for a slower pace. All types are available its up to the individuals to find their niche.

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Posted : February 21, 2012 4:49 pm
OldTart
(@OldTart)
Expert

I can honestly say that after almost 30 years here I've never been bored. There's no question that many eventually get "rock fever", people miss their families, and miss the conveniences they've been accustomed to. Cost of living is also a major factor and, particularly in the case of the older generation, living on fixed incomes and/or having chronic medical conditions becomes a major issue. You'd be surprised at even the number of locals (as in native Virgin Islanders) who leave for those same latter reasons. I lived a third of my life in the UK, another almost third in the continental US and have now lived here longer than anywhere before - no doubt will die here!

One of the things I found most difficult to deal with was getting used to people leaving. You make friends, some of whom you become very close to and, within a few years they're off back stateside. By the same token, the sheer variety of people to get acquainted with here is priceless. It's a real melting pot of cultures! And look at all the places to explore both by sea and air. So many islands to see, all so different from each other.

There are tons of community activities in which to participate, tons of things to do which don't cost a lot of money. Never a reason to be bored. And if you have to deal with a major hurricane which devastates everything around you, you learn to deal with it and it, in turn, such events teach you what's really important and what's not. As an old and dear friend so often said, "Don't sweat the petty stuff - pet the sweaty stuff"!

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Posted : February 21, 2012 6:18 pm
VIsnorkeler
(@VIsnorkeler)
Trusted Member

It's been about a year and four months for us and there are still lots of things to do. I love outdoor stuff, hiking and snorkeling, mostly. I'd like to learn to dive. I'll get to it one of these days. There are GORGEOUS places to snorkel and hike on STT, then add in STJ with the national park (and plenty more to explore out of it.) My bf and I agree, we aren't leaving until we have done everything. And the more we do, the more we discover there is to do. We cured the "rock fever" by taking a trip back to the states to load up on a few things (like my favorite kind of instant oatmeal I can never seem to find, that sort of thing) and raid the storage unit (SO SO SO GLAD we stored nearly everything!!) and of course, visit friends and family. I know, however, that we won't be here forever, more because we both love travel and the adventure of a new place, but I think it'll be a couple or three more years.

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Posted : February 21, 2012 6:54 pm
East Ender
(@east-ender)
Expert

I don't think you should look down the road a year. If you move here, figure out what you'd like to do . I know people who have a list- learn to scuba, sail, kiteboard, go to X other islands, etc. Give yourself 6 months at least. If you are done with your list and you can't stand it, go. If you are just getting started, give yourself another 6 months to a year. VIsnorkeler has the right idea.

Rock fever doesn't happen with everyone.

And I agree with OT. One of the most difficult things here is losing people. You make friends, you invest in that friendship and that person is up and gone. You start gravitating toward folks you know who have been here longer than you have. And the folks who get here and are unhappy are really difficult- always with the negative waves so early in the morning. You need to have an escape hatch so you can go back to the states in case you find yourself in that situation.

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Posted : February 21, 2012 8:27 pm
WillsSweetPea
(@WillsSweetPea)
Advanced Member

I don't know if I can help with this discussion... I know we are looking at moving to the Islands. We are retired Military so I'm thinking you do your homework as anyone should do before a major move. Do your pre-move visit & go from there.

Being retired Military... it's always hard to see a friend move a long distance, however, they don't stop being your friend & we've stopped through out our travels to visit with close friends when we could. We keep in touch through emails & facebook. I remember back in the day when First Class Mail is all we had.

I love warm weather, so I know I'll be much happier there. I don't need a lot of entertainment for the most part I can entertain myself. Sounds as if you love warm weather activities & that will keep you busy. I love beautiful flowers, tropical flowers, being outside, the beach, etc. My hubby & I are both warm weather individuals. We live in a big city now & unless money is no object then you never can afford to do everything you want.

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Posted : February 21, 2012 9:08 pm
blu4u
(@blu4u)
Trusted Member

A good job, that you LOVE and pays well, is the answer. Family ties help-spouse, kids in school. There is not enough "to do" to keep most socially active folks content seven days a week. Work. Get involved in something besides yourself. Stay out of the bars.

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Posted : February 21, 2012 9:16 pm
eiplanner
(@eiplanner)
Advanced Member

Thanks to those who are willing to post on such diverse issues. I am a good 2 years out from being able to really make any attempt at moving from Okla. (2 daughters still in college, living at home) but I would like to spend this time really trying to gain some insight from those of you in the know about island life. My wife and I are planning a trip to STT this summer to get away for a bit and check out some of the things on the island. I was there 22 years ago while in the Navy and thought it (STT) was the most beautiful place I'd been. And I saw a lot of places to compare it with.

I do have to say that a lot of the issues brought up and explained on these boards tend to make me hesitant or at the very least cautious about jumping into it. First off, I've read so many stories of those that decided to go on a whim and showed up with not enough money and then got caught without enough to leave. That's the very first thing in the definition of 'miserable'. Life is bad no matter where you are if you can't afford to get by. It's even worse if you can't get out of that bad situation. I am not a wealthy person by any means (middle class at best) so I have a great understanding of what it takes to come up with money you don't have. I admire those that have had the guts to take the plunge because most people sit back and only wish they would have tried and always wonder if they would have liked it.

The reasons I am looking into it so far in advance are many but up on the list are job options (so I can maybe aquire some new skills or education requirements in the meantime to make myself more employable), housing and cost of living (so I will know what suitable employment really means), moving and setup expenses (so I can be financially prepared), and tieing up loose ends (downsizing my life here and preparing my wife and I as well as those around us for our prolonged absence). I'm not so sure my daughters are feeling the reality of it yet.

I like the take it six months at a time idea because one never really knows what they will want at any given time in the future; however, I want to approach it from here as if we are going for the long haul so that I don't come over already believing that I will be leaving. I think a person tries harder to make it work when they believe there aren't other choices.

Prior to checking out this sight and hearing from you guys I had already planned this part, but now that I have gotten some feedback, I am completely convinced it is the most important part: I will have an emergency fund large enough to get us back home as well as keep us floating until we are reemployed. A way out, an escape, a safety net, or any version thereof seems to be the most resounding advice there is. I also think that always knowing the door is open to return and the means available to do it would allow a person to at least maintain a positive mental outlook about living there. It's always a lot more fun to voluntarily do the dishes than it is to be forced to do them.

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Posted : February 22, 2012 12:50 am
East Ender
(@east-ender)
Expert

"It's always a lot more fun to voluntarily do the dishes than it is to be forced to do them."

Amen!

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Posted : February 22, 2012 1:10 am
vicanuck
(@vicanuck)
Trusted Member

I must say that, after living here for 8 years, I've rarely ever been bored or found myself without anything to do. In fact, its quite the opposite for me. I rarely have any downtime and am on the go 7 days a week. I have kids to shuttle around, home repairs to tend to and many great friends whom I love to go out to dinner with and socialize. We have taken cruises out of Puerto Rico both with family and groups of friends and travelled elsewhere fairly regularly.

When I contemplated moving here many years ago, I wondered if I'd slow down and eventually get bored. This has not been the case at all and I have recently pined for the day when I'm actually able to take a breather from my very busy island life.

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Posted : February 22, 2012 12:04 pm
speee1dy
(@speee1dy)
Expert

the more money you have, the more you can do

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Posted : February 22, 2012 12:12 pm
stxem
(@stxem)
Trusted Member

the more money you have, the more you can do

Isn't that true everywhere?

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Posted : February 22, 2012 1:23 pm
Matt T
(@Matt_T)
Advanced Member

I wish I had more time, I am never bored. My to do list is quite long- between our little farm, alternative energy projects, and maintaining vehicles and water toys there are alwasy chores. Oh yeah, that thing called work takes up some time but it keeps that stupid thing called money rolling in so my family and I can have fun. Being a dad is also quite time consuming but my favorite way to spend my days.

I try to balance chores with fun. There are countless recreational activities. If you don't enjoy watersports, you're in the wrong place. I do whatever the mood of the ocean dictates:

Windy- kiteboarding or sailing
Waves- surfing
Flatwater - freediving, scuba diving, spearfishing, stand up paddle boarding, kayaking, long distance swimming, fishing

If the ocean gets old, and for me it never does, there's always hiking, fruit foraging, bar hopping, island hopping, people watching, music, and much more. Seems like every weekend something is going on.

Some of my more creative pastimes are: harvesting coconuts and bottling the precious coconut water, or removing the meat from mature nuts and making coconut milk and coconut oil. Finding various fruits like starfruit, plum, mango, guava, etc to make juices and preserves. Making and carving calabash bowls. Finding secluded beaches to go beachcombing- we find some awesome stuff! On St. Croix, go out west to Concordia and hike up the creek. You can find some edible treats in this creek, I will not say exactly what- but they are yummy!

Camping is fun too. Spear some fish, light a fire and crack a bottle of wine with ya partna and life is about as good as it gets.

If you get really bored, there is tons of trash to pickup. It may not sound like fun, but pick your favorite beach or hangout, and bring a plastic bag and pick up some trash. You will feel very happy afterwards and the islands will repay you tenfold- trust me!

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Posted : February 22, 2012 1:56 pm
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