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Beaches2014
(@Beaches2014)
Active Member

Hello everyone,

I hope you are doing well. I am very seriously considering moving to St John and I was hoping you could provide some feedback about your experiences and opinions regarding how social and friendly people in the Virgin Islands, and specifically St John are.

I follow several blogs and websites and I see things like running races, concert events, festivals, etc - and it genuinely seems like there is an active and vibrant connected community on St John. Care to comment?

The other thing - I know that by living on an island there are obviously some 'limitations' in terms of meeting people. Would you say that there are ample single people on the island? I'm asking because I'm curious to know if it's mostly married people and families and single people awkwardly stand out like lemmings (ok that may be a bit dramatic). I'm just in a funny spot personally because I want to meet somebody, but I also want to live in the USVI. I guess I was thinking that if I get myself where I want to be I could find someone as opposed to meeting someone and hoping they can move their life to St. John... Your thoughts?

Thank you very much!

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Topic starter Posted : April 3, 2014 1:17 am
ms411
(@ms411)
Expert

Lots of single people.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 8:44 am
stjohnjulie
(@stjohnjulie)
Trusted Member

There are a lot of single people on St. John. And a lot of transient people as well, who may stay for a few years then move on. People on St. John tend to be pretty friendly and it's not hard to meet people. It's a very small place and it's hard to NOT meet people. I will say that St. John does tend to draw a high number of 'transplants', meaning people who live here but are not from here. So you will not only be meeting West Indian people, you will be meeting people from all over in the states with all different kinds of backgrounds. But I have found that there tends to be a common thread that stitches us all together, even though it's not that easy to explain exactly what that thread is 🙂

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Posted : April 3, 2014 10:25 am
mtdoramike
(@mtdoramike)
Trusted Member

I always assumed there were more single people than couples on the island, but then again quite a few of the couples I knew who went to the islands as couples finally left the islands single:) Temptations are great my friend.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 11:52 am
Beaches2014
(@Beaches2014)
Active Member

I bet it's got something to do with the sea - and the sunshine. Some people LOVE the beach and some don't. I don't understand those that don't.

Why is almost every robust healthy boy with a robust healthy soul in him, at some time or other crazy to go to sea? Why upon your first voyage as a passenger, did you yourself feel such a mystical vibration, when first told that you and your ship were now out of sight of land? Why did the old Persians hold the sea holy? Why did the Greeks give it a separate deity, and own brother of Jove? Surely all this is not without meaning. And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all.

- Moby Dick

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Topic starter Posted : April 3, 2014 1:31 pm
Beaches2014
(@Beaches2014)
Active Member

Ok - let me specify one more aspect of my question. Regarding the island's single people...

What age are they?
College students?
25-35?

Retirees and seniors?

I'm in my early 30's...would you say that are many women around my age?

Also, to those who have already replied, thank you so much!

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Topic starter Posted : April 3, 2014 1:33 pm
East Ender
(@east-ender)
Expert

" I bet it's got something to do with the sea - and the sunshine. Some people LOVE the beach and some don't. I don't understand those that don't."

Actually, it is more about how different life is here than in the states. Some people come for the beach and the sea, but leave for the frustrations of island living. Most young single people are in the service industry.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 4:22 pm
JulieKay
(@JulieKay)
Trusted Member

I know most of my single friends on St. Croix have found it hard to date (mid 20s to 30s) in a meaningful relationship. People tend to get together and break up fairly frequently, there is a lot of infidelity (often due to substance abuse) and it is hard when you see someone you dated a few months ago now dating another one of your friends, because the dating pool is small compared to most places in the States. You either roll with it or you don't.

I don't know if St. John is different, I didn't live there, just sharing what I do know. 🙂

My husband and I actually met online, when he was on St. Croix and I was living in Texas years ago - he never found anyone on the island that was a good match for him. We dated back and forth for a while and I moved down full-time in 2011. That has its own challenges, but it worked for us. We are a bit older (40s and 50s) too.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 4:33 pm
DonExodus
(@DonExodus)
Advanced Member

Very few 20-30yo professionals, if thats important to you. I'm assuming you're male: if so, STX has no dating scene- you're fishing in a swimming pool. STT you'll get 25-35, STJ 18-25ish on average.

If your immediate goal in life is to find a suitable professional partner for marriage, I wouldn't recommend the move. If you're looking to have fun and blow off steam for a few years, I'd recommend it.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 4:55 pm
mtdoramike
(@mtdoramike)
Trusted Member

I bet it's got something to do with the sea - and the sunshine. Some people LOVE the beach and some don't. I don't understand those that don't.

Why is almost every robust healthy boy with a robust healthy soul in him, at some time or other crazy to go to sea? Why upon your first voyage as a passenger, did you yourself feel such a mystical vibration, when first told that you and your ship were now out of sight of land? Why did the old Persians hold the sea holy? Why did the Greeks give it a separate deity, and own brother of Jove? Surely all this is not without meaning. And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all.

- Moby Dick

hahahahahahahaha, no, it has nothing to do with the romance of the sea, but more like keeping their morals in their pants, alcohol, drugs and a loose free lifestyle. It takes a strong marriage to overcome natures temptations, some thrive while others wither and die on the vine.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 6:09 pm
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
Expert

There are many wonderful single 20 and 30 year old people in the USVI. I think the replies you are getting are excluding the majority of the population which is mostly West Indian and Hispanic.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 7:10 pm
East Ender
(@east-ender)
Expert

I think Beaches is asking specifically about St John. I don't feel qualified speaking about living there, as I don't. But I feel that it is different from life on St Thomas or St Croix.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 7:13 pm
divinggirl
(@divinggirl)
Trusted Member

Very few 20-30yo professionals, if thats important to you. I'm assuming you're male: if so, STX has no dating scene- you're fishing in a swimming pool. STT you'll get 25-35, STJ 18-25ish on average.

If your immediate goal in life is to find a suitable professional partner for marriage, I wouldn't recommend the move. If you're looking to have fun and blow off steam for a few years, I'd recommend it.

I would disagree with this. I live on STX and know many single people in their 30's that are dating. I met my "suitable professional partner for marriage" here on STX and some friends met & just got engaged here. I also know some real wacko's who complain that they can't find a date here but that has little to with availability and more to do with their personality issues.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 9:36 pm
Beaches2014
(@Beaches2014)
Active Member

Thank you all for the continued comments.

I don't look at it as an escape to 'blow off some steam'. I'm sure it's a fun place to party, but I'm looking at this as a long term move.

I guess I was curious to try to figure out the scene as I've read blogs and things about people saying they moved their together.
Are there any stories of young people meeting each other on the island and getting married?

Also, I am most interested in STJ, but any feedback you have about the other islands is also greatly appreciated.

I understand that STT and STX have different crowds and different sized populations.

In a general sense I was trying to get a feel for the odds of meeting someone.

Thanks!

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Topic starter Posted : April 3, 2014 11:14 pm
dougtamjj
(@dougtamjj)
Expert

Giggle. What is the saying here? The odds are good but the goods are odd.

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Posted : April 3, 2014 11:44 pm
ICEMAN
(@iceman)
Advanced Member

Simply put
"You don't lose your girlfriend/boyfriend, you just lose your turn."

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Posted : April 4, 2014 12:41 am
LiquidFluoride
(@LiquidFluoride)
Trusted Member

Simply put
"You don't lose your girlfriend/boyfriend, you just lose your turn."

I first heard that term in Alaska, but it had a bit of a larger population; seems like it could apply here as well.

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Posted : April 4, 2014 1:45 am
stjohnjulie
(@stjohnjulie)
Trusted Member

Like Iceman said… one of the sayings here is "You don't break up, you just lose your turn." There are a lot of transplant people on St. John in their 20's. But there are single people of all ages here. We have a pretty small population, but that doesn't mean love cannot be found. I met my love here and we married four years ago. He is West Indian, I am Midwestern. I have other friends here who met their husbands/wives here as well. But I guess if I think about it… most of my friends here are not married. I have several friends who are in long term relationships who live together…but not a lot of friends who are actually married. And I would have to say that a lot of the transplants that I meet here don't think of St. John as a forever home.

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Posted : April 4, 2014 10:28 am
mtdoramike
(@mtdoramike)
Trusted Member

Thank you all for the continued comments.

I don't look at it as an escape to 'blow off some steam'. I'm sure it's a fun place to party, but I'm looking at this as a long term move.

I guess I was curious to try to figure out the scene as I've read blogs and things about people saying they moved their together.
Are there any stories of young people meeting each other on the island and getting married?

Also, I am most interested in STJ, but any feedback you have about the other islands is also greatly appreciated.

I understand that STT and STX have different crowds and different sized populations.

In a general sense I was trying to get a feel for the odds of meeting someone.

Thanks!

Well I met and married my wife on St. Thomas. She was a local girl born and raised on St. Thomas. I was from central Florida. We have been married for 40 years. But that was back in the early 70's.

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Posted : April 4, 2014 2:35 pm
Beaches2014
(@Beaches2014)
Active Member

I appreciate all of your feedback and insight.

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Topic starter Posted : April 4, 2014 10:54 pm
crazyflamingo
(@crazyflamingo)
Advanced Member

I'm just in a funny spot personally because I want to meet somebody, but I also want to live in the USVI. I guess I was thinking that if I get myself where I want to be I could find someone as opposed to meeting someone and hoping they can move their life to St. John... Your thoughts?

Glad to know others have this same thought because I literally have this thought (and discussion with friends) constantly! I totally agree its probably easier to meet someone while living on island versus trying to convince someone to move with you if they don't want to make the move. And if you are like me, you know you will regret not making the move. All of my friends think I'm crazy for planning to make the move and try to say I will never meet someone if I'm living on an island. I choose to stay optimistic and keep reminding my friends of my track record of only attracting guys who live out of state. (its actually quite an amusing story but I won't hijack this thread to tell it) So I figure why pass up the adventure of a lifetime of living on an island. The right person will come along when its time.

Good Luck and I hope things work out for you!

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Posted : April 5, 2014 12:08 am
East Ender
(@east-ender)
Expert

Totally my opinion and observation over 20 years:

People do move to the VI, fall in love and get married. And stay married. Many of those move back to the states either together or divorced. . People leave because they have children and life suddenly gets complicated, they find that they are in dead end careers, they only wanted to stay a short while, they find that the culture is antithetical to theirs, family issues call them back, medical issues call them back, "it's time to go", etc. At least on St Thomas, there is a "middle" class of business owners, professionals (teachers, nurses, lawyers) who live lives outside of the bar and restaurant industry. They support their children's school, join the yacht club, go to Rotary, work for change... I don't get this sense on St John, which appears from the outside to be filled with wealthy off-island owners of villas, young kids partying and a handful of locals who are slowly becoming extinct.

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Posted : April 5, 2014 1:47 pm
tedc
 tedc
(@tedc)
Advanced Member

EE,

I can speak up for STJ that we have the same "middle" class as STT - just proportionally smaller due to smaller overall population.

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Posted : April 7, 2014 2:40 pm
East Ender
(@east-ender)
Expert

tedc: I kind of figured that. It is not apparent from the outside, but neither is it in St Thomas.

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Posted : April 7, 2014 8:42 pm
Alana33
(@alana33)
Expert

People normally gravitate to what they like and find each other.
There's lots to do and meeting people is not a problem.

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Posted : April 7, 2014 9:27 pm
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